Deb O. in Surrey writes:
These days I’m feeling so insecure in my employment. There are continually issues where I work — is it me or this just a power struggle with two others who see me as taking their power or creating more workload? Family issues also seem to weigh heavily on my mind. I’ve been estranged from siblings since our mother passed away, and once again, I have the feeling of being the one on the outside, always made out to be doing wrong in spite of the good things I do for others.
From what I can see, you aren’t in any danger of losing your job any time in the near future. However, because there is a lot of heavy energy in your workplace, I’m still going to encourage you to be mindful while you are there.
You’re right that there are always power struggles of some kind going on in your job. It is just the nature of the people who work there. Politics, cliques and drama seems to be the undertone of energy. Because you have a lot on your plate in general, you are even more sensitive to the lower vibrations that zing around the workplace.
You should consider talking to your doctor about being evaluated for depression and anxiety, as well as ways to positively overcome your insecurities and handle your stress. Since I can see that you aren’t going to jump right on that suggestion, incorporating things like deep breathing, meditations, affirmations and exercise into your daily routine can often help. You may not be aware of this, but you have incrementally withdrawn over the last four or so months. This has impacted your personal and professional relationships. While your family problems are definitely more troubling and stressful, there is very little that you can do right now to correct the situation. Your siblings are coming through as being offended, stubborn, and a bit defensive. However, with the holiday season approaching fast, you have the opportunity to extend an olive branch.
Sometimes, apologizing even when you haven’t really done anything wrong can do wonders. You just have to decide what matters more – the future or the past. Whatever the case, let them know that you’d like to be a family again, and the next move is up to them.
Lastly, when you are at work, keep your profile low and focus on doing your job. While not all of your colleagues are exactly likeable, as long as you are warmly polite and professional, there isn’t anything they can do. Instead of trying to fade into the woodwork, hold your head high. Killing them with kindness makes it easier for all of you to work together, and harder for people to take sides. It may be a struggle for a couple of weeks to change the patterns of interactions, but if you put your mind to it, you can do it. The changes will be for the better, and because you’ll know you did it, it will help boost your self-esteem.