JoAnne in Angleton writes:
I have been having an affair with a Pisces man for the last 7 or 8 years. I am a Gemini. My husband knows about the affair and wants to work things out. I love my husband (a Virgo), but not like a wife should love her husband. This other man I am crazy in love with and we have a strong sexual connection. The problem is that I am so afraid of what my family and children will think of me if I choose this other man. My husband is a good man and it is tearing him up but I feel like I would be choosing him only out of fear of what others would think of me. Please help.
Welcome to the crossroads… The place where one decision alters the rest of your life.
With everything going on in your life and the challenges you are facing, I’m completely floored by the fact that the opinions of your family and kids are your most pressing concerns. JoAnne – that should be the least of your worries. I mean, this is your life we’re talking about!
Your heart is with one man, yet you are married to another. There is no way around it, the time has come for you to choose. Whatever decision you make (and I am not going to make it for you) is going to come with consequences. There is no way around it.
My question to you is this: why the concern over opinions now? Where has that concern been for almost a decade? What in your head makes you think that an affair is viewed with more tolerance and respect than a divorce? Okay, that was several questions, but you get my point.
The bottom line is that this is your life. You have to live it, and live with your choices and the consequences of those choices. It is time for you to figure out what you want, and what you can live with. Whatever path you take, those who surround you are going to have an opinion. The truth is, you can’t come out of this situation “looking good.” Don’t kid yourself. Those who don’t already know about the circumstances of your life eventually will. And, opinions will be formed.
The time has come for you to be strong and accept the life you have created. Keep in mind, there is one opinion that holds more weight than all others: your own. You know what they say about opinions… Be true to yourself and your convictions, and you’ll be able to handle what other people think and have to say.