Jill in Michigan writes:
For the last year, I’ve been in an online (sometimes in-person) affair with someone from work. He’s an Aries, I’m a Libra and we just click! Problem is… that we’re both married. We’ve kissed, but no more, but I still consider it an affair. He’s not “in love” with his wife (I know – very cliché), and I was having problems with my husband (also an Aries) which actually have mostly been sorted out and I really do love my husband… but I am still very drawn to my (other) Aries. What do you see in my future?
If you are not careful and come to a peaceful decision within your own mind, you are very likely to end up out there on your own! The life you have with your husband is fairly stable, and this relationship can continue to be worked on and improved. But, you have to put your heart and head into making it happen.
Even though both of your men are Aries, they are quite different, and each of them meets separate needs for you. Some of the fire you feel with your coworker Aries burns a little brighter because it does feel good to be bad. If the two of you had met at a different time and under different circumstances, it is highly likely that this is the man you’d be with. However, back here in this reality, you have a husband and he has a wife.
Whether or not your coworker is “in love” with his wife is a mute point. Right now, she is the woman he goes home to. More importantly, he is going to continue to stay in this arrangement for at least another couple of years, which means that as of right now, there isn’t a clear path for the two of you.
“Let’s be friends” isn’t going to work, at least not from your side of the equation. Even though you have been having an affair with this man, you have so far managed to do so with boundaries. Keep it up, and the lines you have drawn in the sand will be crossed. Your guilt will be the demise of your marriage – a marriage that doesn’t necessarily need to come to an end.
Sometimes the bird (in your case, ram) in hand is better than two in the bush (or one at work). Simplify your life, Jill. Mixing fire and air tends to bring about explosions of passion, but if there is too much fire – all of the air is consumed.