Red Responds: It’s Always Been About the Sex … Until Now

Maria from Fresno writes:

I’ve been seeing a Leo for the past 2 years. He’s 32 and I’m 26, a Sagittarius. Since we started it’s always been just sex but as time passed I ended up falling in love with him. Some time later, I found out that he was living with his kid’s mom. I didn’t know what to do, then I decided to keep on seeing him – I felt like I had to keep on seeing him. I don’t know if it’s love or if I’m just used to him. The thing is that for the past 4 months I’ve been wanting to stop seeing him. Then he began telling me he’s going to leave his kid’s mom to get together with me. Lately, he’s been telling me that he loves me. He never said that to me before, but it makes me feel bad about myself because I don’t want to leave his kids without a father and it scares me just to think that I’m taking someone else’s man. But he says that their relationship hasn’t been working out for the past 5 years. I don’t know what to do…

Dear Maria,

You do have a level of love for your Leo man, but you also have become very comfortable with the relationship as it stands. There is a level of commitment between the two of you, but there is also a level of freedom because of his domestic situation.

You need to take a long look at what is really making you feel badly about yourself when it comes to this relationship. The thought of Mr. Leo leaving his family is only part of the equation. While his living arrangements would change, he would still be involved with raising his children. He is their father. That aspect of his life is not your issue or responsibility. What really seems to be getting to you is that if he made such a drastic change as to leave his current situation, what are you supposed to do with him? This is not a man you can picture yourself with for the long haul.

It is true that he doesn’t want to lose you or let you go. In order to keep you, he is trying to step up the relationship, strengthen his hold on you. He is not lying when he tells you he loves you, but you are hearing it now because he fears losing you. It is also true that he does think about leaving the mother of his children, but he is not currently in a position to make that move. If you continue to maintain your relationship with him, when the time comes that he does leave his other woman, you will feel obligated to continue in this relationship.

While breaking up is hard, making a life with someone based on guilt and obligation is even more difficult. You have the power to keep from creating this path for yourself. It is your choice.

I can assure you that if you choose to end this relationship the world will continue to turn. Mr. Leo will continue to struggle with his current family situation. You will move forward in your life, alone, but only for awhile.

You already know what you need to do. You’ve known it all along. Mr. Leo is what you needed at the time, but he really isn’t the man for you.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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