Red Responds: Bisexual Rumors

Dear Red,

I recently broke up with a friend because I feel there is no future for us, but I miss him terribly. We’re both in unhappy marriages and so have been communicating as friends — but there are feelings of love. I’ve expressed my love for him but he hasn’t told me he loves me. I’ve heard rumors that he’s bisexual, but I don’t want to believe it. Though I’ve found information that indicates it may be true, he’s denied it. He recently came to visit me and we had a beautful time together. Still, he shows no future committment and I’m tired of his hot and cold ways. So, I broke it off. I miss him so much and hope he contacts me. I confronted him about the information proving his bisexuality and he hasn’t responded…will he ever contact me again????


Dear Jenny,

While it may take a little time for things to smooth over, it does look like you will hear from your friend again. Before you get excited, I have to warn you, this relationship has changed.

I know that the questions of his sexuality are upsetting to you, but the way you handled the information is equally upsetting to him. You should have simply asked him, as an open-minded friend. He would have given you an answer. It may not have been completely honest, but at least the lines of communication would be still be open.

I’ve got to tell you, this is not the man for you. While he can offer you friendship and comfort, he is not going to offer you a commitment. Equally, even though he cares for you, he is not going to profess to be in love with you.

Your feelings for him are real enough, but they are based on the idea of your perception of who he is. He is bisexual, extremely bi-curious at the least, and you aren’t going to change that. Nor do I see you being able to embrace his sexuality and allow him to be openly who he is.

Even though it will hurt, the best thing for you to do is move on.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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