Red Responds: Is She a Fool if She Stays?

Hi Red,

I am so very confused at the moment and I truly hope you can help shed some light on my situation. I’ve been dating a guy for 10 months and for part of that time, we’ve been living together. I’ve been a little suspicious that he may be cheating, and the other day, he admitted it. I’m not sure, however, if this is the only one or whether or not he can be faithful.

I would normally not even consider staying in the relationship, but in every other way we are perfectly suited and get on so well. I love him very much and really do want this to work, but I don’t want to be a fool and stay with him if he will just keep doing it.

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear your response.

Peace & Love,
Anna in Australia

Dear Anna,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but for some people, fidelity is an ongoing struggle. This seems to be the case with your lover. He presents as a bit immature and lacking in some of the life lessons in that will teach him how to value and uphold a commitment.

Your love for this man is very strong, but you really need to understand that this relationship is not going to develop easily. If you stick it out, he will once again betray your trust. Sure, he can be good for a while, but there will be other women from time to time over the next two years. He is just not currently at a place where he can be completely happy and satisfied with a monogamous relationship; regardless of how well it seems to be going from your perspective.

I wish I could sit here and tell you what to do, but I can’t. What I can tell you is there is a feeling of unresolved togetherness between the two of you that is going to be maintained for a while. I do see you leaving the relationship eventually; but it does not appear to be a final ending. I’m seeing a bit of an on/off pattern that will come about before you will be able to decide once and for all if this man will be your future or your past.

Brightest Blessings,
Red
Ext. 9226

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