You have given readers such great responses to their questions that I feel compelled to ask you about what is troubling me in the hopes that you may provide some insight.
Eighteen months ago I received an email out of the blue from my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first love of 30 years ago. We have been in contact ever since. A real connection has developed, and for a while we were emailing and calling each other several times a week. From the start there has been electricity, we’ve talked about seeing each other, which is somewhat difficult as we live almost 3000 miles apart, but he travels a lot for work. Each time the plans seem to begin to gel, something gets in the way. He and I are both in the final stages of long-since-over relationships, which adds to the difficulty.
There is much I could tell you about the two of us, but it would take time to explain it all. I can’t shake this almost calm, inner feeling (which sometimes morphs into an antsy impatience that makes me want to hop on a plane, consequences be damned!) that he and I will eventually be back together, and that it will be like coming home. Or is it all my imagination, based on nostalgia, made even more desirable by his subtle elusiveness?
Thanks so much Red and Best Regards,
Susan in Victoria
You need to learn to trust that calm inner feeling of yours. That is were the truth, and answers, lie.
Not that I’m advising you to do this, but if you did jump on a plane, I’m seeing more motivation to take action than recovery from consequences. When the time comes that you and your first love share that second-first kiss… it’s all over. It will be like coming home for each of you.
While each of you faces your own set of challenges relative to clearing away relationships, your time to be together is coming. With this brings a whole new set of challenges to close the geographical distance.
While you are willing to embrace change and bite the proverbial bullet to get to “what comes next”, your guy is more than a little scared. Once he has freed himself more fully from his current relationship, you can expect fewer obstacles getting in the way of plans.
You’ve made it for thirty years. Another six months, though it may feel like an eternity, isn’t all that long of a time period when you measure it against the rest of your life.
Hang in there. Things will come full-circle, only this time with the promise of success.