Red Responds: 10 Steps Ahead of Him

Dear Red,

I met a guy about 6 months ago. We started dating right away. He is from New York. He moved to California for a job two months before we met. After dating for two months, he sent me an e-mail to tell me that he felt I am ten steps ahead of where he is. He wanted to continue to see me and spend time with me to deepen our friendship, but did not want to get into an intimate relationship right away. I did not want to just have a friendship with him. So I told him that I did not want to see him anymore because he is not willing to get into an intimate relationship. Three weeks after I said goodbye to him, he called me and said that he still wanted to be friends with me. During the past six months, he called me from time to time to say hi and check in with me, but no romantic relationship has developed. At this point, I am very confused if he and I will develop a romantic relationship in the near future as our friendship grows. Please advise.

Wendy in Fremont

Dear Wendy,

The gentleman in question has a true fondness for you and does cherish the friendship that currently exists between you two. While he does want you to remain in his life, he is not misleading you when he tells you he is not ready to pursue a deeper relationship.

Ironically, it is only after you have moved on and have a new man in your life, will he start coming forward in hopes of testing the waters of romance. It is a classic case of bad timing.

If you are participating in the friendship with him strictly in hopes of having something more, I would encourage you to try shifting your expectations. No amount of hoping and wishing is going to bring him forward any sooner.

Whether you are looking to meet someone new or not, love will be in the air come spring. It is at some point in the month of March that a new man is going to be entering your life. Be prepared to be courted and chased, because he definitely has his sights set on you.

Brightest Blessings,
Ext. 9226

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