I finally met the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He is amazing – loving, caring, thoughtful, ambitious, sensitive, etc. The problem is he is 28 and I am 46. He is a Cancer and I am a Pisces. He will make a fantastic father and wants to have children. Obviously, it may be difficult for me to conceive at my age. I have two grown children and a grandchild. He broke up with me two months ago because he doesn’t see us able to have children together. He is mostly concerned about the health risks involved (both for me and our child) and I do respect him for that. He is also concerned about my energy level in caring for a child/teen when I am well into my 50s or 60s. We are so madly in love with each other and we have this amazing connection but he can’t get past this. It is so unfair. I feel like we were meant to be together and a child would only enhance the love we have for one another. I think John has made up his mind, but I am still hopeful that he will realize he can’t live without me.
Nancee in Houston
Love has a way of overcoming many obstacles, but your John’s free will is a bit of an issue.
John has a very definite idea of what the “normal” family is, and has always assumed that when the time came, his family would fall into that predefined concept. He really wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you. He wants to experience what you already have – that “normal” family.
Things sometimes have a strange way of working out. Even though he is currently hoping to find someone of your equal in a younger body, it is going to be a challenging search for him. Because he is not “over” you, his chances for success are currently limited. This brings me to round two…
I do see John coming back toward you in a romantic sense, but the relationship is without definition and future planning. It is more of a day-by-day approach, since his logical mind tells him that he can’t have the future and family that he wants while he is with you. It is during this time that you need to be especially careful and consider fully what you believe is the right thing to do. 46 or not, (actually, 47) accidents happen!
If you choose to go down that road, the pregnancy will be closely watched and you will have more restrictions than you may have bargained for. However, you’ve got great and vibrant energy, and that seems to remain through the child-rearing years. The greatest obstacles you face will be more of acceptance from outsiders, and some family.
While by no means or intention do you “trap” this man, a love-child does secure your future with him. If you chose to take precautions against pregnancy, you will face an on-and-off relationship with him, for he still would like achieve his dream of a family of his own, with a woman who is more close to him in age.