Who’s He Talking to?
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I am not sure what is going on with my marriage of 24 years but I know my husband is keeping secrets. He is 10 years older than me and I am his third wife. We have been through a lot these past few years. There have been money problems, work stresses, the loss of loved ones, and even a cancer scare with one of our boys. My husband started pulling away. The more I tried to talk to him, the more he would change the subject or get angry. Then I would shut down. But I know he’s keeping secrets.
Last year I started to get a strong feeling that he was seeing someone else or talking to someone online. He’s hiding something; I can certainly feel it. I need to get to the bottom of what’s going on with your help. He won’t open up to me and I also don’t want to give up on our marriage. I just feel like I am losing him and I don’t want that.
Psychic Reed ext. 5105 responds:
Your husband reminds me of a story I heard many times as a child: One day a man was walking down the street when he passed a house where an old man sat with his dog. The old man sat in his rocker on his porch and the dog lay beside him making pitiful sounds—whining and crying. The passerby called out to the old man, “Is your dog hurt?” The old man answered, “No, he is laying on a nail.” The passerby asked, “Why doesn’t he do something about it?” The old man answered, “He is doing something. He’s busy learning that whining won’t solve his problems.”
Your suspicion is right about your husband keeping secrets. There is someone to whom he speaks online. It’s him whining instead of getting off the nail. However, I do not feel any romantic intentions from him toward this woman; he just wants an ear to bend so he can vent. Like the dog, he will reach a point where he gets tired of whining and decides to take some action to change the parts of his life that aren’t making him happy.
You know your husband better than anyone else knows him and you know that he isn’t happy. However, don’t take his unhappiness personally. This isn’t about you or your relationship, but about his need to grow and become more self-aware. Not taking it personally is the key if you want to smooth out the process.
He isn’t looking to leave you and he isn’t in love with anyone else. He’s not looking for a replacement for you. He’s just suffering and has no idea how to address the more powerful emotions he is having to confront right now. For many reasons that aren’t all important, he can’t whine to you. Just know that it is not a sign of how much he loves you or how devoted he is to you.
While your husband keeping secrets may seem like a roadblock, it’s just him doing some emotional processing out loud while he learns that whining won’t change anything. The two of you will get through this harsh time, and there are many better days ahead.
If you have a question you’d like Psychic Reed to answer, email it to QandA@californiapsychics.com.
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