Kate from Charleston asks:
Hi Red, I’ve had a year of growth on every level, and they don’t call them growing pains for nothing. When I least expected it, the one I had asked for appeared. We met at work. At first, the flirtation was harmless, and then it went from zero to serious very quickly. This was something that neither of us anticipated or planned. The first five months were dreamy, and then life happened. He’s eleven years younger than me, but age has never been an issue for us – with the exception of possibly having a family together.
Long story short, we took a break, so that he could focus on other issues stressing him out – such as his finances and student loans. For the first time, I experienced what it was to be selfless in love and patience. At the end of July, we begun to communicate more, and I feel that we’re on the path to make up, not break up.
Is this truly what I’ve felt developing – a feeling of selfless love – and, if so, when will the tide truly turn? While my gut tells me that this will happen, it feels like an incredibly long journey with no end in sight. If it’s not, and the lesson has purely been one of my personal and spiritual growth, will I ever fulfill the dream of having a husband and children? I don’t want to give up just because I’m losing my ability to be selfless, but I’m not sure that I can take much more of this. Thanks.
Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:
Take a deep breath and relax. This is for real. However, things aren’t going to come together as simply or quickly as they do in the movies, so all that patience you’ve acquired is going to come in handy!
This man who was delivered to you came into your life for many reasons. Your spiritual growth is only part of it, and that man-inspired journey has only just begun. So, embrace what you’ve learned and achieved, but know that you still need to keep your game face on. Even though the two of you are slowly moving closer, it’s still going to take time before things are solid once again.
Neither of you can fight, or forget, your feelings for one another. This is part of the tie that binds you together. However, he isn’t quite ready for the happily-ever-after, nor is his financial plane a picture of health. He’s making progress on all fronts, but he still has a ways to go. Even though he may not show it, he’s struggling just as much as you.
While your acts of selfless love are to be commended, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have impatient, selfish times. You’re only human. Waiting is hard work! It gets frustrating, and you’re allowed to be frustrated. Yet, all of that isn’t going to change the fact that you aren’t going to connect with someone else the way you’ve connected with him.
The age difference between the two of you really doesn’t present as a problem, but it’s in part why the two of you are going through what you have been going through. You’ve had the time to get your life in order, and he, with you as inspiration, has really only just begun. He’ll get there. Nevertheless, I do have to point out that he will still have some financial complications when the two of you are solidifying your relationship, but this doesn’t present as a problem as much as it does an inconvenience.
You will have the happiness you dream of, and he is big part of the picture.
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One thought on “Red Responds: Growing Pains and an Impatient Heart”
It appears you care for this guy. Patience is a virtue…time is Patience. It is a gift to you from him. Take it in stride. You win in the end.