Create Realistic Expectations
Patsy from Pocatello, Idaho asks:
I have met a man who has had serious alcohol related issues for years and years. Is it really possible for him to be able to stop drinking just because he meets someone he likes now?
First of all, anything is possible. Is it likely that he will stop drinking? No, not so much.
People don’t stop an addiction because of someone else; at least not usually. Also, it is never a good idea to enter into any relationship in hopes that the other is going to change. This will only result in disappointment and resentment. If you want a relationship with this man, you do need to consider if you can stay with him the way he is right now!
Alcoholics won’t stop drinking because they met the “right” person. This is due to the fact that their addiction has nothing to do with anyone else. No one made him start drinking, and no one will make him stop drinking either.
“Ask for guidance, trust it will be done, and listen for your answer.” – Mimi ext. 5522
The part where an alcoholic seeks help, if he does seek help, is a personal point they will have to reach on their own. It is, what I call, the “oh shit” moment; the so-called rock bottom where they will feel the need to finally seek help and stop making excuses or living in denial. For some addicts, this point never comes. For those who do decide to become sober, they have a long, rocky road ahead of them that requires a lot of discipline and hard work.
So my advice honestly would be to really think twice before entering into a relationship with an addict. This is not an easy task, and I personally feel that there should come a point in our life where we have the responsibility to take care of our own needs, instead of trying to save or rescue another. If he has been drinking for years, as you said, and has not yet quit, chances are he won’t do it now, simply because you walked into his life. And please remember that promises and good intentions don’t mean anything, unless they are supported by actions.
Take care and all the best to you!
“Ask your guides, or higher self, daily for guidance. Remember, your guides’ job is to listen to you and help you!” – Abrielle ext. 9894
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