Compassion, Not Boundaries
Have you ever been in a fight with a friend or loved one and said the following statements to yourself?:
“I’m never letting them do that to me again!”
“I’m setting boundaries!”
“I’m done with them!”
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What do you do when the people around you throw toddler-like temper tantrums? Do you throw up your hands in protest, hoping that will silence them? Do you yell back? Do you leave the room? No matter how you respond, witnessing another’s tantrum makes your heart flutter, puts you on the defensive and triggers your fight-or-flight response. They’ve made you feel uncomfortable as the target of their angst. They’re blaming you for their misery. At these times, it’s hard to feel compassion for someone, but you should!
Extreme Emotions Set Boundaries
Their emotions are extreme, and as the target of their angst, your emotions become extreme too. It takes days for you to calm down. You talk about what happened with anyone who will listen. Then you decide that it’s never going to happen again. You are never going to let them attack you again, so you decide to set boundaries. And this means you will never let that person get close to you again. But setting boundaries isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. It’s just a fear response to feeling attacked and it lacks compassion.
Have you stopped calling them?
Have you excluded them from social gatherings?
Have you removed them from your social circle?
Where’s the Compassion?
In all this boundary-setting, you’ve forgotten compassion. Boundaries are a harsh response to a harsh attack, making them one-in-the-same. Here’s what you do instead: bless them. It’s simple, silent and easy. This is the strongest and wisest response you can have. Send them a blessing or a prayer and use compassion as your response.
Being compassionate doesn’t make you a spiritual wimp. Actually, it’s a position of the utmost strength! Bless your attacker and allow them their path of craziness. You’re only a spiritual wimp if you allow yourself to be attacked time and time again by the same person. Just bless them and move on. Focus on your own work and personal growth. You’re not obligated to be their dart board!
Change Your Vibration
When you bless those who attack you, your vibration changes. You move yourself to higher levels of frequency and this makes you spiritually stronger. Now your attacker is on a lower frequency than you and their hate and anger will keep them there and far away from you.
Human Boundaries vs. Spiritual Boundaries
Your spiritual boundaries are more powerful than your human boundaries, so work on strengthening them with compassion for those who attack you. If you do, you’ll change your energy and your vibration. You’ll also change the company you keep—without even saying a word! Blessing someone is compassion at its highest vibration. It’s the strongest position you can come from in any situation.
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