The Six Telltale Signs They’re a Narcissist

The Signs You May Be Egotistical

Are You in Love With a Narcissist?

It’s okay to be a little self-absorbed. It’s okay to put your needs first. It’s okay to bend the rules and get angry when things go wrong or when you feel disrespected. These are healthy behaviors as long as you take the desires and needs of others into consideration too. But there are people who never think about anyone other than themselves. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone like that? They act like it’s their world and you’re lucky to live in it, but you don’t feel lucky at all. If you’ve known and loved someone like that, chances are you’ve known and loved a narcissist. Here are the six telltale signs someone you love is a narcissist. Find out if there’s hope for your self-absorbed partner!

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1. They Have One-Sided Conversations

Talking to a narcissist is difficult. That’s because whatever you have to say isn’t nearly as important as what they’re doing or thinking. In fact, if a narcissist feels like you’re talking about yourself too much, they’ll interrupt you and talk about themselves again. The spotlight can’t be on anyone else for a significant amount of time. Trying to share a success with them? Don’t. That’s because they are more successful than you could ever be. Trying to decide where the two of you should have dinner? Your opinion doesn’t matter as much as theirs does. In fact, sharing your opinion actually inconveniences them.

2. They Want What They Want Now

When a narcissist wants something, they need to have it and have it now. Have you ever seen an adult have a temper tantrum because they weren’t getting the attention they “deserved” or the thing they wanted? They’ll even lose it over something small, like their favorite coffee place running out of lemon scones before they could buy one. Yes, the universe is obviously conspiring against them and everyone else who got a damn scone before they did didn’t deserve it because they aren’t as important as the narcissist throwing the temper tantrum.

We know you want something and you want it bad. If you’re running out of patience, call Psychic Aliza ext. 5844 and find out when you’ll get what you want!

3. They Don’t Follow the Rules

Rules make the society we live in well-oiled and functioning, but only if we all follow them. Tell that to the narcissist who cuts in line while others are waiting, cheats on their spouse or doesn’t pay taxes. Tell that to the narcissist who throws out their jury duty summons or steals parking spaces from people who are patiently waiting. Narcissists think the rules don’t apply to them and they think you’re stupid for following them.

4. They Never Accept the Blame

If something goes wrong, it is never the narcissist’s fault. It doesn’t matter if something they did directly contributed to whatever went wrong, they will never accept the blame. If they cheat on you they’ll say you drove them into the arms of someone else because you let yourself go. If they borrow something from you and it comes back broken, that’s because you bought something cheap in the first place. Narcissists habitually throw other people under the bus.

It’s time to take responsibility for your role in your failed relationships. Call Psychic Jacqueline ext. 9472 and learn how to fix your relationship karma. 

5. They Hate Being Criticized

There is no such thing as constructive criticism for a narcissist. Even the smallest critique puts them on the defensive. It’s actually ironic that someone who has such an inflated sense of self could be so easily hurt when someone “inferior” criticizes them. But narcissists can criticize others and often do. If you say you’re unhappy, a narcissist assumes you’re blaming them for your unhappiness since it’s all about them.

6. They’re Not Responsible for Their Anger

When it comes to anger, the narcissist’s anger is the result of something somebody else did. You made them angry. You didn’t listen. You didn’t do what they wanted. You were wrong. You were trying to control them. So, if they’re angry, they have a right to be and they don’t have to control it because you brought it out in them. Their anger is an appropriate response.

How to Handle a Narcissist

Narcissism is basically a series of habits and the good thing about habits is that they can be changed. However, it isn’t your job to change a narcissist. What you can do is make them aware of how their behavior makes you feel. Know that this is going to be a sensitive discussion, so for best results, be sure to use “I feel” statements rather than “You make me feel” statements. You may have to have this sensitive discussion with the narcissist in your life two or three times before they actually hear and understand you. Then ask how your words made them feel. If they feel like they’re being heard and respected, this may curb some of their narcissistic behavior.

You can also try emphasizing the importance of a give-and-take relationship dynamic and shared decision making. The best way to do this is to lead by example. You can illustrate these principles with house chores. If they like to vacuum, you offer to do the dishes. Or if you’re tasked with planning a trip or a celebratory dinner, ask them for their input. These behaviors could inspire the narcissist in your life to change for the better.

Would you like to change your relationship dynamic? Psychic Paige ext. 9158 can help you create a balanced relationship!

But if all else fails, consider cutting the narcissist out of your life. Life is too short to feel disrespected and insignificant. You deserve better.

29 thoughts on “The Six Telltale Signs They’re a Narcissist

  1. Sandy the Survivor

    Try a narcissist that also does party drugs….you have no idea how inflamed this personality can become. And no, I didn’t know he was doing them. He wined and dined and romanced me into oblivion. And typical of a narcissist, he slowly began to introduce me to who he really was. He then began to despise the very things that attracted him to me, my looks, my intelligence, my strong values, my opinions that I would not back down on when it crossed my boundaries. In the end, he accused me of putting him down to others, called me a liar, said he was disappointed in me, and told me to get the “f” out! I called his bluff and within 24 hrs I packed up and left. The the moving truck showed up, he went for a walk and he cried…boo Hoo!
    They are control freaks, the are demeaning, belittling, and arrogant. The fact he had been in several relationships and not one lasted in 30 years, should have clued me in. No one should ever make you feel less than who you really are. Love is suppose to lift you up, not drag you down. Best advice, run.

  2. Annette

    TROUBLE!!!! I have been abused since childhood.
    Was married for 20 years, only to end in divorce.
    THEN, became involved with a man I thought was my complete and total
    partner. He was the kindest, caring, giving, thoughtful human I had ever experienced in my life. After two years and a wedding proposal I saw a different man. I remembering saying to him once, you look the same but I do not know who you are. Out of all the abuse I have experienced in my life he left me almost dead.
    It is very hard to leave, for the people around you saying, just leave…it doesnt happen like that. They do it gradually, almost pushing to see how much you can take, it is damaging at minimal ~ May GOD bless anyone going through the aftermath! I will never be the same, but God gave me the strength to leave….

  3. G.g.

    Been dating one for almost 2 yrs. just realized he was a narcissist a few weeks ago. I just found out the he was dating 8 women. I have spoken to 2 of them. They both knew of me.. I wish I had done my homework 2 yrs ago. I just broke things off 3 days ago after I called one of the ladies and he was very mad about me exploring and telling the women that we have all been played.

  4. Dawn M.

    Gina Rose, you are 100% correct about the fact that most narcissists won’t step into a therapist office, mostly because their perception of themselves is that “There’s nothing wrong with ME, it’s all YOUR fault.” And those that do go in, will look you in the eye and lie. That’s why I said seek the help of a professional. I meant, to CLARIFY, that if someone feels they are in a relationship with a narcissist, they THEMSELVES should go in to seek help regarding their individual situations.

    Hot topic, to be sure. Thanks for all of your clarity and insight!

  5. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    I read, off line, for the top Psychiatrist MD’s in the country ( who refer their patients to me )… and THEY tell me that most of the time IF a narcissist will even go see a mental health professional, that they will sit in front of the Psychiatrist and claim that there is nothing wrong with them, that everybody else around them is at fault.
    And that there are usually other mental health disorders running parallel WITH the narcissism.

    Don’t be a victim or a doormat, IF that narcissistic person in your life won’t seek( in a honest way to better themselves ), professional therapy ..then it’s time to leave.

    Life is too short.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    ps….I should note that….I am NOT a mental health professional, the Psychiatrists that refer their patients to me do so within hippa law guidelines and these patients are under their supervision at all times. They do the medical, I handle the spiritual Karmic aspect to help guide them. The Doctors and I work as a team.

  6. Juanita

    The author clearly states that walking away from the narcissist is an option if the narcissist can’t be reasoned with. And unless you’re a mental health professional, you can’t determine whether someone’s narcissism is treatable or not or how extreme it actually is.

    It’s so easy to blame the narcissistic person for the suffering their partners have experienced, but those in relationships with narcissists play a role in this toxic relationship too. If they think long and hard, their narcissist showed signs of their behavior early on. Their partners or loved ones tolerated it, accepted it or looked the other way. They were in denial. If you’re with a narcissist, you should think about what characteristics you have that attract a person like this to you or why you were attracted to a person like that.

  7. Dawn M.

    Thanks for the good comments. I cannot diagnose Narcissism in any of your relationships, but a good therapist CAN. I CAN tell you that Renate is correct. Narcissism is not light and fluffy and easy to “fix”. It is, in fact, a Class B Mental Personality Disorder and it’s serious. If you feel that you are involved with a narcissist, you’re best path is to go to a well-trained medical Psychologist/Psychiatrist and get professional advice as to where to go from there. Having lived through this particular traumatizing type of relationship, there IS light at the end of the tunnel if you seek proper help. Best wishes to all.

  8. ReikiGirl

    In dealing with a TRUE narcissist, RUN, don’t walk, away as fast as you can. You can’t change them. They don’t care about you and never will. As far as they’re concerned, whatever is “wrong,” is your fault. Especially if they tell you right out, “I’m a very selfish and self-centered person, ” (it’s probably the only time they’ll tell you the truth about themselves), and you think, “Oh don’t worry over time they’ll change.” It won’t happen. And don’t even think about having kids with this kind of person, either. Your kids will grow up miserable and you will be even more so. Being alone is far better. Take it from someone that suffered for years due to this lower level behavior.

  9. tishie

    Narcissism is not a habit – its part of someone’s DNA. And it cannot be altered. It can be approached from a therapeutic standpoint, much the way family members of the alcohol afflicted deal with their issues through ALANON, etc. Your perspective just advises the long-suffering sufferer of this behavior to change their own approach. It is akin to putting a band-aid on a sucking chest wound. Unless the narcissist is willing to acknowledge and alter their behavior, the situation will only change for the worse. Thats right, tolerating their behavior EMPOWERS the narcissist, exponentially. I wasted 14 years of my life that way until one day a woke up and said “no more” I don’t deserve this and wont stand for it. There were denials, tears, recriminations and promises of “change” from the offender. When they met with silence (after years of my trying to “communicate” with him) the failure of the marriage was blamed on me, and my selfishness. To make matters worse, my husband demanded in State Court to a sitting judge that he wanted me psychologically evaluated because “only a mentally disturbed person could throw away such a good man” And this was after he admitted adultery in that same meeting. If anyone is dealing with this situation, end it immediately and I promise you, life will become 100% better – IMMEDIATELY.

  10. sherry wright

    I was in a short relationship with a narcissistic man. He did the most amount of damage (to me) in the shortest amount of time. There is NO reasoning with a narcissist because they do not take responsibility for what they do and have no desire to change, often because they feel they do no wrong. It is a no-win battle and a war they will win, as they tear you to shreds piece by piece. I now pray for this man to see his ways and make changes, but only God can do that with a determination from him to make changes……only if he ever sees the harm he does. I am not the first and I will most likely not be the last “victim” he preys upon to feed his narcissistic demand and supply. Best of luck to whoever decides to tackle this kind of relationship.

  11. Sue

    Excellent article.I lived with one for 9 years,I fell for the charming good side.Nothing was ever his fault.Blamed everyone for everything….when he abused me it was my fault.I was useless I couldn’t even get the right groceries etc .
    Best thing I ever did was call the police and left him.Even then it was my fault that he had hit me….

  12. g

    The description of narcissism given here is helpful, but I strongly disagree with the solutions offered. The official psychological diagnosis manual, DSM IV, calls narcissism pathological and relatively incurable. I was married to one, who gradually became a batterer.

    Narcissists are incapable of caring for the needs of any other people, for any length of time. If you’re with one now, don’t wait eight terrible years like I did. To avoid a miserable, life, where you do all the accommodating–pleading for love and courtesy–and apologizing, and problem solving–just give up. Get out as quickly as you can.

  13. goldie

    excellant article, i knew one for five years and was at my wits end, thought it was me, but the reader at CP told me it was not ,she even went thru describing things he would do, that he had done and how it was my fault, and i sat there couldnt beleive how she hit the nail on the head, can honesly say i am now free of him and hs controilling ways.

  14. Tiffany

    I have a boyfriend who is like that. Throws temper tantrums when he can’t get his way. He is cheating with another woman, blames me for almost everything. Asks me for money, when he is broke. When he gets money he disappears. He plays tit for tat with me on everything. Don’t respect me at all.

  15. Denise

    This IS a very good article!!
    I have studied Sam Vakin for many years on the subject of Narcissism while helping my best friend who was divorcing a Narcissist! Learning these basic personality traits also helped me to understand that old High School Sweetheart I grieved over for too many years…was NOT all that special….ha! If this article opened up an “ah HA” in your mind…please please continue studying the subject!! Good luck & best wishes!

  16. Rosemary

    Excellent article. I agree with the other commenter.. RUN. I was recently exposed to this type of person. Good heavens! No matter what I was always wrong. It was me that brought on everything. It was an interesting experience and this was somebody I didn’t let have an important part in my life, thank heaven. He told me I was distrustful and scrutinized him. Yup.. I was and did and found out what he was really like. Yay me!

  17. Renate

    NARCISSITS CANNOT CHANGE.. NARCISSIM IS A PERSONALITY DISORDER AND THEY ARE HARD WIRED!!! Any Professional in psyche or anyone/s that have endured their toxicity KNOWS THIS! Please correct the article

  18. karen anne

    I have a twin sister and in high school was called a SCEB! Self-centered, egotistical bitch! Which is a narcissist!!! She has not changed one bit! She is miserable and wants me to be that way as well and will find a way, situation or circumstance to put me down or make me feel inferior! I see right through her– she can not hurt, belittle or harass me any longer. But she is persistent and knows that in general that I try to be as genuine as I can be. No self-absorption here! I think that really bugs her.

  19. Barb

    I lived with a narcissist for 10 years and always lived in his shadow. If there was a movie I wanted to see, He wouldnt go, but if it was a movie he wanted to see it was expected that I would have to go. blaming everyone from his mother, his daughter, ex girlfriend, to me for the troubles he created with his big mouth and temper tantrums he used to squeak like a girl when he was upset. Every day there was a challenge/ arguement, and I was always told I was the stupid one. he was mean, nasty, condescending and never though twice about humilating me in front of who ever for whatever. he was a selfish lover and cheap except if it was something for him he was even physically abusive sometimes. and his anger could flare up for no reason whats so all I feel sorry for him, but not sorry that I kow longer have to live with constant anxiety, never knowing what was walking through the door

  20. Mary Susan

    I married one and left after my daughter was in college as to not screw up her life. I believe they live in this little bubble of reality that they create. They are the greatest spin doctors on the planet. Trying to share your feelings is impossible. As you are expressing how things affect you, they are thinking one step ahead of you spinning how it affects them. They are INCAPABLE of understanding your point of view. Therapy doesn’t help because they go into it with the absolute fact that they are right and you are wrong and the therapist is on your side.

    Don’t walk away! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! In doing so, you become incredibly happy and many physical ailments just go away. They suck all positive energy out of you and make you not only miserable, but also physically ill.

  21. Chrissi

    How many of these need to be ticked off- or are the individual ones ‘tells’ on their own, and the number of signs is the degree ?

  22. Janel

    Agree with Dawn…..I have lived with 2…. they have no clue they have a serious problem therefore will not consider a need for change……their damage is devastating…..they are very good at sucking you in with the “good side” of themselves but once they think you are hooked, it all changes. Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde behavior. If you are involved with one get professional help to extricate yourself as it might be hell from them if you let them know you are leaving…be very careful.

  23. Dawn M.

    Great Article, I agree with Gina Rose. Except one thing: They won’t change. Best advice, if you want your sanity, run for your life. Period. ( I married one)

  24. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Excellent article by
    Dania Marantz Kurtz !!!!

    She nailed all of the qualities of a true narcissist !!!!

    They always put the blame on others…in situations involving domestic violence , whether it be mental, emotional or physical abuse, they are known for turning around to the victim and saying : Look what you made me do !

    Nice work, Dania

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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