It was the 4th of July weekend. There I was, cruising down the interstate. The speed limit was 70, and that was what I kept myself to. Not that I’m perfect, but that ticket I got years ago for $100+, and the traffic school assignment, pretty well keeps me in line. Plus, all those state cruisers efficiently picking off the speeders was a great inspiration for discretion.
Apparently most of the people around me on the road felt about the same way. However, my problem is that when the law tells me I can do 70, I want to do 70 (except in poor road conditions). I guess I’m just a push-it-to-the-limit type of person. But the people around me, beside me, in front of me were all doing 65-68. This kept on for mile after mile until I wanted to scream with frustration. The guy in front was oblivious (obviously never having seen highway signs that say “Slower Traffic Keep to the Right.” I felt totally boxed in.
How often does there seem to be someone or something blocking our way? It doesn’t make sense to us, so we are frustrated practically beyond our ability to bear. We want to do something, anything, to make conditions change. Should we just hang on to what is occurring, or should we do something drastic? If so, what?
People call us at California Psychics who feel absolutely stuck in their lives, whether it be with their jobs (or lack of a job), their marriages, their relationships, their level of communication with their parents, or others. They feel they cannot move ahead, sideways or any other direction at all. They are glued into place. They want assurance that there will be a positive change in the future.
Well, of course, there will always be change. Absolutely nothing stays the same in this world forever. But whether or not it will be positive change is something else we worry about. There are certain things we can do to influence the outcome of particular situations in our lives. And then, if we fail to influence these situations in the direction we want, we still have options.
A person who calls me for a reading gets this information – if you do this, this is what I see will happen. If you take the other option, this is what I see happening. If nothing is done, then there will be yet another outcome. Most people want to know what will occur when they feel that circumstances surrounding them are uncontrollable. For example, when will they get a job? When will their husband or wife stop cheating on them? When will their mother-in-law act like a civilized person? What will occur in the future when they feel that they have no options to exercise in the present (much like my being boxed in by slow drivers)!
The thing is, we always have options. While we cannot control all aspects of a situation, there is a lot we can do to influence the outcome. I had a caller who asked when he was going to get a job, as he was unemployed. I was somewhat puzzled, as I couldn’t see that the person had filled out any employment applications. When I indicated this to him, he said that he had not! This was one way he was influencing the outcome of his job hunt!
In many cases, to open the door to receive, we first have to ask. This holds true in many situations, whether it be employment or something else. For fidelity, one must expect (ask) and if that expectation is not met, then there remains the choice of staying in or leaving the relationship. For a good relationship with an in-law, one can choose to foster harmonious feelings. If this proves to be too difficult, then one may choose to have the least contact possible. Even while we are frustrated that things are not turning out the way we wanted, we still have choices, if not the ones we particularly would like. Sometimes the choice may be that we can only dictate the way we mentally handle the situation, until it has passed.
In my case, I chose to stay in the spot I was in until eventually I could do the speed that I wanted. If I had chosen to feel more patience, I could have eliminated the frustration that I felt by realizing that this did not even figure as a tiny blip in my life. I could have taken the opportunity at a slower speed and dropped back to appreciate the scenery that passed by. Or I could have pondered on what is truly important in life that warrants a lot of feeling.
What would you have done?
6 thoughts on “Getting Stuck in Traffic”
I really loved this article, Tansy! We all know a few drivers like this, have encountered them or been them at one time or another. You are absolutely right–it’s all about control.
There are always frustrations in life because of things beyond our control, even for people who usually have command over themselves and their own lives. This is a given for everyone, but those who learn to let go sometimes are the ones who successfully navigate themselves through the traffic jam. Those who try to control everything else and succumb to that frustration are the ones that end up a wreck.
I’ve come to understand that the people who try to control everyone and everything around them do so simply because they completely lack self-control. They try to navigate life by changing the course of whatever surrounds them, which is impossible. That’s like diverting traffic by standing in the way…either you cause damage to someone else or you get run over. Either way, it turns out badly. Someone ends up as roadkill while the other leaves the carcass of the relationship strewn alongside the road.
You are so right that we only have control over ourselves. The wheel before us will not steer anyone else. But, by mastering our frustrations and controlling our own lives, we allow people to navigate their lives alongside ours and traffic can flow again. If we want to accelerate our lives to get to some other place, then it’s up to us. When obstacles block progress, take a detour and find a way around them. Just remember that impatience doesn’t make it happen any faster.
At this point in my life, I’m ok with being in the slow lane. As you said, there is more to see there. Life is beautiful.
Tansy this really was a wonderful post and such a perfect example of how we can often manifest negative energy in our every day life. It’s also so important, when we catch ourselves manifesting this kind of negative energy not to judge ourselves but to release the negativity. First we get angry or frustrated at the slow poke driver, then we get angry or frustrated with ourselves for letting it get to us….When we judge ourselves we just expand on the negative emotion by placing it in another direction. Thanks so much for such an insightful post!
~Chloe ext. 9421
tansy- This was a unique and wonderful post.
When a driver honks at me, and is frustrated with my driving, I just smile and wave, which signals a, “hello”-very natural, too, and not arrogant. Seems to always calm everyone down, myself included.
The road is never a place to take out aggression. Everyone, please never drive sad, tired or angry. There will always be jerks out there on the road. If we give them the benefit of the doubt, this is another step for all of us to make the world a better place. Maybe one day the “road jerks” will join us, so we can all live in a world full of kindness. I hope everyone takes a second out of each day and visualizes world peace. Yes, it can make a difference, just like prayer.
Such great points here. I used to wish and want someone to offer me a better job. With out asking or applying. I thought that someone I worked with would just see what a great employee I am and offer, even create, the perfect job for me. How Silly! 🙂
I have many life experience, life changing stories and have been told for year that I should and will write a book someday. Again, I waited for someone to just offer to help me do that, without my doing anything to work in that direction. I finally started a blog and writing 7 months ago and love it! Although I have a lot to learn and am improving, moving toward my goal/dream and making lots of friends and contacts. It feel very good to do the work myself too!
Now I still have to be patient, but every time I feel that I am not, I focus on all the things I can do to keep moving me toward my goals and dreams!
Great article, Tansy!
I grew up in a home where every where we went both my parents would talk, yell, scream, wave at passing vehicles, which of course were not be driving to there expectations, as years went by watching them behave in this manner, I realized that this behavior didn’t serve anyone, it only raised my parents blood pressure.
Tansy I totally agree with about the fact when you do all that you can do to bring positive change in your life, then its out your hands, the only thing that you can do is sit back and allow what is to happen, happen…
Blessings and Hugs!
I used to get really frustrated in traffic, then one day read an article on this website called “Which Type of Empath Are You” and realized that I felt the anger and negativity of drivers around me. Now I can block that out much better. I’m recently divorced and about to go back to work, so reading articles on this site and other self-help options are very appealing. I’ve obtained a few books on CD to listen to, and believe that is going to really get me through the trying times driving because I am as impatient as you seem to be, Tansy, LOL. Good pointers, keep them coming!