A few years back a grocery delivery driver cut me off. Apparently, I had cut this man off in another parking lot a few minutes earlier. He got out of his car to cuss me out whereupon I quickly apologized. I had done it without realizing, I told him, but he didn’t care, he rambled on about how someone just like me had dented his car a couple of days prior.
It was evident to me that this man clearly didn’t like women or his life for that matter. I apologized again and added that he was simply a bitter person. And that’s when the grocery delivery driver spit in my face.
I was in my car and rather than jump out and attack the guy like I would have liked, I drove away with his venom sitting on my skin. At home, I frantically scrubbed his nasty saliva off and broke down in tears. I could feel the energy that he’d spewed on me – it was full of hatred, rage and pain.
It was a minor trauma in my life that week and yet grocery delivery guy had also offered me a gift – perhaps I shouldn’t have spit out an observation that was deemed as a criticism. Meanwhile, he’d offered me the opportunity to not play into his drama or escalate a situation.
It’s easy to see other people’s faults and tell them what to do to improve, but the true work, the reason we’re here, is to see ourselves objectively and understand what we need to do to develop.
“Everyone around us offers powerful medicine for increasing our awareness.” writes Medicine Woman and Clairvoyant, Charisse Landise (www.charisselandise.com) in her upcoming book Spiritual Bandages for a Ruptured Soul. “Our auras carry a very specific vibration. Within every encounter, we have attracted it for evolution and growth.”
“Every problem is a remedy in disguise; a chance for light to shine on darkness,” adds Landise. “The universe wants us to feel good. When we trust everything’s connected, we consciously grow with the galaxy.”
When we bump into something difficult we’re interacting with a frequency that’s part of the universe. So basically everything is good, even when it’s bad.
We always have the choice about how we respond/react toward someone. And we have the choice to change the way we interpret our interactions. When we do this, presto! Everyone offers us medicine. Here are some ways to change our perceptions and do just that:
Trace it Back
If you interact with someone and the situation blows up and/or leaves you perplexed with a bad taste in your mouth, look at your part; take responsibility for your actions. Trace the incident back to the first thought you had, which is the same as saying the first vibration you had, says Landise.
If I think back to that day I was gobbed at, I had just finished a yoga class and so in truth I wasn’t completely in my body. In actuality, grocery delivery guy offered me a double layer of medicine. For one, he taught me how important it is to be in my body, especially when I drive. I now drop a grounding cord and ground my route to make sure not just any energy body pops into my space.
And, he gave me the opportunity to recognize my own tendencies and not strike back with the same nasty energy. People who are mean or crummy put us to the test. And even though it’s difficult, we shouldn’t take everything so personally. The way people respond tells us more about the other person than it does about us.
We can also argue that whatever we recognize in another is a quality we have within. When you react to a person, ask yourself, “where/how do I exhibit that same characteristic?” Each person and every situation in your life teaches us about yourself, adds Susan Gayle author of the CDs “Removing Limiting Beliefs” and “Learn To Be Stress-Free” (www.NewBehaviorInstitute.com)
Whatever is happening “out there” in our experience is a reflection of what we need to do “in here.” Realizing this is an amazing tool and gift.
Allow for Differences
It’s a good idea to allow for differences. That’s biodiversity, says Landise. It’s okay, you don’t have to change the other person. Besides changing someone or trying to get them to be less annoying is a futile endeavor.
“What you can do is agree that you’re not going to see eye-to-eye. It’s healthy to accept people for who and what they are. And if they really bother you, change locations, says Landise. In other words, you can set boundaries.
Also, focus on people’s strengths. If you can, acknowledge them. Make an effort to focus on these positives, rather than the negatives. “It’s all about learning to love “what is” rather than what we think “should be.” It makes us more loving, accepting and understanding of ourselves and the people in our lives,” adds Gayle.
Stay your Course
What kind of person do you want to be? We get to practice our spirituality with each moment. Continue to do the best job you know how under the circumstances presented. Also, be wiling to transcend your ego and apologize. It demonstrates that you’re a big enough person to admit when you’ve done something wrong. You set an example and perhaps others will also realize that you offer them medicine as well.
Our personal growth rarely occurs in isolation from others. As we interact with others, they provide us with opportunities to strengthen whatever quality we are working on. Ironically, this means you may attract a slew of nasty people because there are certain lessons you need to learn. Like magnets, we attract opportunities for us to work on ourselves. Once we learn the lesson and confront ourselves and our reactions and learn to react differently with that emotion/situation/person, it will disappear from our lives. Or, at least, be in our lives in a new, constructive way.
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