Breaking Off Relationships

This is the third part of Phoenix Adoni’s series on the fourth chakra. Read the previous parts here: Part One and Part Two.


We’ve all suffered the endings of relationships and the broken hearts which accompany them. What usually happens is that we disconnect from our heart chakra, which ceases the energetic dance of the heart, while we sit in misery and self-pity, vowing to never love again.

When this happens, we do the greatest damage to ourselves and our heart, as the fourth chakra is our center and our core, and when this chakra is thrown too far out of alignment, it throws our entire chakra system, both upper and lower, out of alignment, only further perpetuating the cycle of suffering.

Endings as Spiritual Practice

Endings, although painful, are opportunities for us to awaken our hearts by touching the rawness of our pain. When an ending occurs, the natural tendency is for our heart chakra to close and shut down, leaving us feeling depressed, lethargic and isolated from ourselves and life in general. Although painful, these endings are opportunities for us to awaken our hearts by touching the rawness of our pain.

By maintaining an awareness of our heart and the pain we feel, we can connect to our humanity and the suffering of all people. When we are able to practice this type of awareness and connection, we begin to see through the greater vista of love from Source, that the relationship that has just ended, as well as all the relationships that have ended, have all been small pathways and stepping stones towards the spiritual highway of our learning, growth, evolution and expansion of our hearts and our capacity to love.

Wounds and Traumas

If in childhood we grew up receiving enormous amounts of unconditional love, nurturing and acceptance, a positive feedback loop is created which shapes and frames our self-perception and self-acceptance, as well as our internal dialogue. As we grow up, even while suffering its share of trials and tribulations, the heart chakra has a much higher degree and chance of openness, and all of its other corresponding attributes.

However, if we grew up having not received the ingredients necessary to create self-acceptance and an open heart chakra, the positive feedback loop is short circuited; we turn inwards and begin the path of self-rejection which, over time, results in self-destruction.

This is the ultimate result of the specific wounds and traumas associated with our heart, primarily as a result of divorce and abandonment, conditional love, living in a constant shaming and criticizing environment, as well as sexual, physical and emotional abuse. When a child suffers these types of traumas and abuses from their caretakers, the very people they must depend upon and trust for their survival, they often grow up equating love and pain as inseparably linked forces, further damaging their fragile heart chakra and creating greater cycles of suffering and grief.

Grief: The Obstacle of the Heart

Grief arises due to loss, whether inconspicuous or severe. In terms of the heart chakra, it is the loss of love, as love is the center of our being.

When carrying grief, our energy and psychic field become heavy, and we may even have difficulty breathing and/or experience constriction in the chest.

When we attempt to ignore or bury our grief, we become disconnected from Source, and ultimately from ourselves, growing numb and distant from our feelings and other people. When we are able to meet our grief, and embrace and face it, the energy is released; memories long suppressed arise, tears flow and the chains and armor that have kept us from experiencing the richness and fullness of our lives fall away like the remnants of a dream; we awaken anew, feeling lighter, connected, free and able to access and feel the compassion and love of true Source return to its graceful and healing dance within our hearts.


In order to truly heal others, whether as a doctor, naturopath, acupuncturist, reiki practitioner, psychic or massage therapist, or anyone practicing healing arts, our fourth chakra must be fully open and functioning properly.

Since the heart is the seat of love, its vehicle is compassion. Compassion is love in action. It is through compassion that we are able to truly empathize and connect to another person; their issues, their pain, what makes them unique and special and what they need most in order for them to live in physical, emotional, mental and spiritual harmony within themselves and their environment. When the love from Source is allowed to take the lead, it is no longer the practitioners who are doing healing, but Source itself. The job for the practitioner at that point is to get out of the way and allow Source to guide. A true healer understands and aligns themselves with this knowledge, directing their attention to that which is greater in order to properly direct others to their highest good.

In short, the heart chakra is the center of our entire being, and is the hub of all love. With balance and nurturing, we are able to develop intimate bonds within ourselves and other human beings through a true heart-to-heart connection which gives us all the opportunity to grow, mature and develop our capacity to love and heal ourselves and others, and ultimately move towards the higher planes of spiritual consciousness.

May your hearts expand and take flight, higher than ever dreamed possible; may your eyes live within your hearts, allowing love to flourish and guide you back to the greatest of all treasures: yourself.

8 thoughts on “Breaking Off Relationships

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  4. Doris Mersey

    well as the saying goes ,looks are only skin deep, its whats inside of you that counts and yes their are men and women too that think that is whats important and its not true ,so god only gives you what you only can handle but in the end one door closes and whenever another shall open, just believe in yourself and it,ll all turn out for the best and everything will make you wiser and do learn from mistakes or so we should , ive never thought that i was much but i am starting to believe in myseft.,and means alot to me and listen to your heart and you,ll make out okay.

  5. misskrystal

    don ‘t worry mbr-the reality is that a lot of the same men talk to gorgeous women this way-I have met movie star looking women that cry to me and tell me some men have called them ugly-and tell them they are stupid etc.
    a lot of women with looks can be used for sex and it hurts them, terribly-….we live in a day and age where sometimes great looks don’t always get the winning ticket….that is why a lot of times we see some handsome men with regular/ordinary ladies-because it was more than just looks….And when you fall in love with someone’s spirit, automatically they become the most beautiful person in the world….That’s love…

    I am sorry you have gone through what you have. But just know that there are some beautiful women out there being treated just terribly….Looks don’t always seal the deal…It’s the spirit that really speaks….
    Miss Krystal

  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Dear mbr0412,
    All men are not the same…..I’ve read for many men in the past 44 years of my career who are looking more for inner beauty, over and above outer beauty. Many of those men were hurt very badly by
    ” the beauty queen type”.

    Granted, men are, for the most part, visual creatures, ( and so are women too sometimes),…..but I can tell you that there is a man out there looking right now for some lady, just like you, with inner beauty.
    I KNOW, because I read for a few of those nice men……who are more interested in a woman with a good heart, rather than just ” good face”.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  7. mbr0412

    I just read the article about what men consider wife material-it is very disturbing to know if you were not born pretty you are not worthy of love. I have known this for 40 years, but it is so hard to see it in print-I have had many men tell me how ugly my face is for 40 years, how no one would ever love me because of it and that has certainly been the case. I have never in my life had any man tell me he loves me, hold my hand, care about in any way and I just can’t keep going knowing this is the real truth-men really do only care about a pretty face-Unfortunately, i was born with a bad face, so my chances for love are gone-what is left in life if you can not have any love?


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