Between work, family and friends, I find myself done in the giving department. Do you ever find yourself just giving and giving and not thinking about yourself? This can cause an imbalance within you and can cause feelings of loneliness. The remedy is simple: give to yourself. You’ll feel less lonely and more centered. It’s amazing what just 20 minutes can do for me after reading my favorite magazine or going outside to take pictures of flowers.
I usually justify not giving to myself with the following four excuses:
1. I’m Not Worth It
This is the most subtle of the four reasons. I find that everyone and everything else is more important. Once I take care of them, then I can take care of myself. By treating myself this way, I was telling myself that I’m not worth taking care of and that everyone and everything else was more important.
2. I Don’t Have Time
This is an easy excuse to rattle off to yourself and list everything that you’re doing for everyone else. How about scheduling some time for yourself? Put yourself on your To Do list and take some time for yourself.
3. I’m Needed/It’s Expected…
Check your assumptions. Does your partner or spouse expect you home every day after work? Do you really need to work late again tonight, or are there things you can prioritize to do later (or delegate to someone else)? I get caught in this loop quite often, but I’m learning. I ask people when they need things and then I tell them honestly what I can do for them.
Recently, I was asked to take on a freelance project. It was tempting, but between a full-time job, planning a wedding and writing a book (or two), I felt I would be swamped. I couldn’t do it all. If I did, I would work many hours a day and not spend time with my fiancé, friends or family. More than likely, I’d work myself into sickness and irritability, just so I could help this other person. I had to be honest with myself and with the person offering me the work, that I couldn’t do it. I had to risk that I would disappoint him, but I had to put myself first.
4. You’re Lonely For Yourself
Psychic Lucy ext. 5353 talks about how to figure out why you’re lonely – possibly for all the reasons mentioned above. Perhaps you’re avoiding yourself? It might be time to take a few moments to figure why you’re lonely.