Your Relationship Wish List

They say that a well-told story is the most powerful teacher of all. From ancient mead halls where Beowulf’s tale was told, through long-ago myths and fairy tales, to today’s blogs and novels and movies, stories have changed our beliefs and our lives.

Lately Hollywood has even been turning out some pretty thought-provoking romantic comedies. Take Failure to Launch and He’s Just Not That Into You for example. Not profound social commentary, but thoughtful enough to get us to re-examine assumptions about relationships.

So, when The Ugly Truth hit the shelves in my local video store a couple of weeks ago, I picked up a copy to see what it had to say (okay, okay, it also was because that scrumptious, Scorpio Scot Gerard Butler was on the cover holding a heart over his … well, not over his heart).

This truly is a movie for both men and women. It earned its “R” rating with bawdy, sometimes raunchy humor that pokes plenty of fun at both sexes, but it also uses a typical romantic comedy plot to make some surprisingly astute and useful observations about how the Law of Attraction works (and doesn’t work) in relationships, without ever mentioning the Law itself.

The Ugly Truth is the story of an uptight, control-freak morning TV show producer named Abby Richter, played by Katherine Heigl. Because Abby’s show is losing ratings, her station manager decides to hire Mike Chadway (Butler), a rude, crude, sexist shock jock, to liven things up.

So much of Mike and Abby’s relationship mistakes are things I hear about a lot when I do psychic readings, so I encourage you to get the DVD and learn from The Ugly Truth’s over-the-top teaching style. And don’t miss the “making of” featurette; it’s also loaded with great ideas and insights.

In the meantime, here are some of the ways to transform your relationship wish list using Law of Attraction principles. For best results, season well with scenes from The Ugly Truth!

Law of attraction — defined
Okay, first let’s review Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction says, “That which is like unto itself is drawn.” You could say it means “you are what you think,” or “you get what you ask for,” but it’s subtler than that. I like to think of the Law of Attraction as a kind of inner magnet that is tuned to bring me experiences that line up with my conscious and unconscious thoughts, both positive and negative.

Secrets for wish list success
Abby’s Dreamy Guy wish list can’t possibly bring her what she really wants; Mike, having given up on love, has only one thing on his list: his ideal woman has the usual attributes in abundance (insert raunchy description here) and is willing to use them in multiple creative ways! Love? To be avoided at all costs! Both of them are locked into behaviors and beliefs that they developed to avoid pain.

Wish lists that work move you toward what you truly long for, rather than away from pain. Items on your list that were developed to help you prevent disappointment and disaster simply keep you focused on the old disasters and blind you to present opportunities.

Next, Abby’s list was created using her rational mind, and is made up totally of cultural myths … a classic is “loves walks in the rain.” She imagines that the superficial qualities on her list mean that some deeper character trait is present.

Somehow both men and women fall into this trap, our minds making the leap from appearance or behavior to a personal quality which we assume the behavior promises. This usually happens when we fail to look a layer below the surface of our own desires, failing to dig for the true gold, the essence of what we long for. While the typical list focuses on what the ideal mate should be, or do, or have, the real power of the Law of Attraction lies in your awareness of what you want to experience, and how you want to feel.

And, finally, your list should be a living thing, expanding and clarifying and whittling down, and expanding again as you grow and change.

Of course, the best relationship-manifesting list is very short. “Don’t make lists. Be in the moment!” And besides, as you’ll see in The Ugly Truth, all the lists in the world can’t protect you when love hits you between the eyes.

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