Following up on my friend Debbie’s current marital affairs, since I last spoke with her she had moved out and into her mother-in-law’s home. After the air was cleared Debbie called me. She was very depressed, said she had left her home to cool off and become as rationale as possible before her and Chip talked again. Their situation led them into a series of very heated arguments. Debbie always found solace with her widowed mother-in-law. They are as close as mother and daughter … Debbie’s mother had passed away when Debbie was in her late teens.
I asked my friend, who I love so dearly, “What are you going to do Debbie? Do you want to come and stay here with me?”
“I can’t come there , Chip will ruin me if I leave him. He already called and told me to get home today … he told me I would not get in if I waited one more day. Then he had the nerve to ask me if I was going to be seeing someone while I was away! He is being totally unreasonable and is calling Laura a liar about timelines. Laura has given me proof … proof that is undeniable … emails, gift receipts, trip paraphernalia, phone records, you name it … and they date back years. I really don’t want to be with him any longer. I feel sick when I think of being with him, I actually hate him right now!” She told me.
Late in the evening, the next day Debbie called again.
“I am not leaving my home!” she said. “I have made up my mind, I am going back there right now.”
“Okay,” I answered. “Can you tell me why you’re going back there?”
“The kids want to sleep in their own beds, their toys are there … they want to play with their friends, and they miss their Dad. I have Church on Sunday … what will everyone think? I have never worked a day in my life! I have never even gotten my GED! I need Chip’s income to stay in our home and feed and cloth these kids. I will never find another man who will want me now. Chip doesn’t even want me … he just wants a maid, and a babysitter. I am just a slave to him and the kids.”
“I’ve been thinking,” she said to me, “about what my Mom always told me. My Mom always told me I would never have to work … that I would be a stay-at-home-mom and that that was a huge job in itself, and oh yes! … Mom said my husband would take care of ALL the family needs. I hope your listening to me Mom!” She yelled loud enough for it to reach half way to Heaven. “YOU WERE WRONG!”
As Debbie got ready to hang up the phone I asked her, “Why are you really going back to that marriage Debbie?”
“Ask my Mom!” She said and hung up the phone.
I often wonder when I get calls from women who are in Debbie’s situation here on the line at California Psychics, why they choose to stay in bad marriages. Why do they refuse to leave? I have come up with many reasons, but find that they could be prevented with a little foresight … and they don’t justify staying with a man who doesn’t treat you right.
What do you think ladies? Why do women stay in bad marriages? Is there any advice you can give to Debbie?