“Hold On to the Mystery!”
One of the most frequently asked questions I receive from callers is “When will he call?” They say they went on the first date a week ago, everything seemed to be great and there was a real connection. Now where is he?
It is very, very common nowadays for two people to meet on dating sites or through a third-party situation. They will “chat” or converse by electronic means for some time, sometimes a few months, before actually getting together.
By the time the two actually get together on a “real” date, they’ll they are well-acquainted. I don’t know why this is but women in particular seem to feel they do know the other one pretty well, and that there really has been a relationship blooming over the talk time. With all the communication that has gone on, it seems that they know each other’s likes, dislikes and attitudes. And with this development of common ground, a feeling of trust also takes place.
When the two do meet each other face to face, the woman especially feels that the relationship has already begun, and is moving in a very positive direction. On the first date, they talk and confirm how the other is just like they thought they would be! With the mental attraction that has already taken place, a physical attraction also comes into play. The woman has seen the man’s photograph, and he has seen hers. The stage was already set for the first encounter.
After dinner and maybe a few glasses of wine, they will go to her or his place to talk more. Everything is great—attraction, good “vibes” and a nice environment. They have sex.
A week or so later, the woman will call California Psychics to ask “When will he call?” She’s hurt and disappointed. It’s been a whole week after what she thought was a wonderful encounter. What’s wrong? What’s happened?
Well, I’m afraid she already knows what’s happened. There’s no mystery left. With all the buildup, the conversation, the getting-to-know-you and the sex, the whole relationship was fast-forwarded into a “What else is left?” feeling for the man.
I want to say that I’m not being judgmental. It’s just that men think differently from women. They do. I see this when I do readings.
Part of the excitement and draw of a relationship with a man is the bit of mystery. They don’t want to feel that they know everything about the woman. The getting-together process, and then the first date, is what the man can handle at one time. The jump from introduction (in person) to sex is just too fast for him.
She has opened up mentally and physically too fast for him. The next morning, he feels that he has done the same and is embarrassed. He also questions her judgment and wonders about his own, as well, in becoming intimate so quickly with someone who was basically still a stranger.
Before anyone says this, I do want to say that I have known a (very) few of these situations that have turned out quite nicely. A friend of mine went out with a guy on an arranged blind date, slept with him, and was married a year later. Their marriage is still great, twenty years and counting.
But how often does this happen? Practically never. We question our judgment. Was it the wine, or just the excitement of finally meeting?
The men sometimes wonder if it was simply desperation on the women’s part. The women may think the men just wanted sex.
So, for the greatest part of the time, my answer to the question “When will he call?” must be a tactful-as-possible “Never.” This pains me. It really does. I like “happily ever afters” as much as the next person. But the answer to the question is what I psychically see. It’s not my opinion, my judgment or my values speaking. This is what is. The man sees things differently, in most cases. And the woman learns this, to her great disappointment. She can no longer hold on to the mystery in the relationship.
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