What Your Sleep Position Says About Your Relationship

Sleeping may seem like a pretty passive activity but when it comes to sharing a bed with your partner, your snoozing style can reveal so much about your relationship. In this way, what you do between the sheets matters not just when you’re being intimate but when you’re catching those nightly Zs, too.

Check out some of the most common sleeping positions, below, to discover interesting new insight into your bond with your significant other.

Facing Each Other
You two are super connected, not just physically but emotionally. This position allows you to look into each other’s eyes before you close them for the night, and then gaze at each other again first thing in the morning. If the eyes are the window to the soul, as the phrase goes, you definitely take full advantage of this. You love each other deeply and continue to crave feeling that special connection you have.

Embracing Each Other
For the super passionate—or newly coupled—this position is quite the norm. Sleeping wrapped up in each other’s arms indicates commitment, love and devotion, no doubt about that. (However, in some ways, this position may also suggest just the slightest twinge of clinginess, especially if there’s an expectation that you should sleep like this.) If this used to be your go-to sleep style in the beginning of your relationship, when things were exciting and fresh, but you rarely sleep this way anymore, this change isn’t a big deal. At some point, you started prioritizing a good night’s rest over having to deal with the all-too-common side effect of this sleep style: waking up with super painful and tingly dead-arm in the middle of the night.

Many couples may start the night like this, or roll over in the morning to cuddle, which suggests happiness and tenderness. Holding your partner, and being held, causes your bodies to release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, making you both feel totally blissed out. Both long-term and new couples alike may enjoy the sweetness of this position, whether they sleep all night this way or just spoon briefly.

This position suggests a feeling of comfort and nurture, with one person passively lying on the other. The partner who’s being laid on is a pillar of strength and stability, while the partner who’s doing the lying may be more differential and sensitive. By being the yin to the other’s yang, this sleep style indicates compatibility: You each bring something unique to your relationship that fulfills the other’s needs.

It’s easy to label this position as not as passionate as the others—after all, what’s romantic about two people who supposedly love each other retreating to opposite sides of the bed? But, really, sleeping back-to-back is quite benign and shouldn’t be looked at as sign of a lack of intimacy. Rather, you both respect each other’s needs for sleep, and space, when needed, recognizing that sometimes it’s okay to put one’s own comfort first. As long as you do some snuggling, or something more, in your bed, sleeping like this shouldn’t be a cause for concern about the state of your relationship.

10 thoughts on “What Your Sleep Position Says About Your Relationship

  1. Seren ext. 5445Seren, Ext 5445

    It’s easy to label this position as not as passionate as the others—after all, what’s romantic about two people who supposedly love each other retreating to opposite sides of the bed? ”

    Another way of looking at this sleep position is that the couple has each other’s back… each facing out into the world and protecting their partner’s most vulnerable space: the place that he or she cannot see for him or herself.

    Brightest Blessings,
    Seren, Ext 5445

  2. Response to Kerry


    You have a User, NOT A HUSBAND. A true Man, takes control & would NEVER Allow his Lady to take on such a burden.

    He must be a Momma’s Boy. He treats you like you’re his Mom, NOT Wife.

  3. Waited too long

    Kerry, My Ex did that and more. We were down to $0 & he invited his college graduate nephew move in!! He stole from me, my/our son, Then took EVERYTHING! Coming from
    Someone who’s been in your shoes. RUN & RUN fast from this LOSER. Isn’t the “man” supposed to take care of his Lady. You have NO MAN THERE, just as I HAD NO MAN. WHY on Earth WOULD YOU WORRY about HURTING HIS FEELINGS? He Clearly HAS NO PROBLEM HURTING YOU!!! Along with your wallet. If he has the NEED & Ability to use all those “toys,” he CLEARLY CAN WORK!!

    My Ex still tries to weasel out of his responsibilities. We are headed to court next week AGAIN!! Imagine 21 Contempt Hearings in 27 months. I’m sure your family has told you the same. Like I said I’ve been used, all my $$$ stolen, including my sons. If you don’t leaf from my response & I’m sure the many more you get. You’ll be like me Struggling to make ends meet. Especially after a long fight with Stage 4 Head & Neck Cancer. He’s a pathetic Excuse For a “man.” Just like the moron who now is trying to sponge off my child.

    I don’t write any of this to hurt you, just to spare you what I’ve had to continually endure!! Good luck!!

  4. Braxton

    Obviously it is a very conversible subject ..and of course to each their own ..IF THEY ARE A COUPLE wanting to take the long hall .. I dont think this is a situation for a uncommitted couple .. Love and tenure is often uncontested and so it is ALWAYS plutonic until desires change . Most encounters are brief and sexual because everyone looks for the ”Chemistry”‘ ( I call it present lust ) ..and people wonder why nithig lasts ..and causes for more depletion in connectivity ….So dont be so judgemental so immediately …..LAura and Muhammed and Tammy white.

  5. Laura Sean

    That was interesting.
    It was refreshing not to read a bunch of malarkey regarding opinions on how people sleep in relation to their relationship.
    Love and intimacy is different for different people. Every couple has their own style and way to sleep together that’s comfortable for both.

  6. Tammy White

    That’s what Guy’s do most of the time. What about the hurt and pain they cause the women or other partners they do it to?

  7. Denise

    Cuddling in bed is the ultimate connection in a relationship. Get used to it right away. It’s worth it. Even if/when the relationship is over, you can often get comfort from thinking about the warmth and comfort you received when cuddling together. The most memorable moments I had in my last relationship was the body connection when sleeping, often referred to as “butt cuddles”, “tummy cuddles”, etc. By the way, I AM the “Cuddle Queen”….make sure you take extra care of moisturizing your legs and feet, and always get a pedicure to keep nails short. Lying next to the one you love is the best feeling in the world ! ! !

  8. Kerry

    Does this sound selfish since I’ve alreay let him swap my trailer i bought for my John Deere ZTrack commercial zero turn, which is all we really have left worth anything. I’ve not only gave up my trailer but my generator, all my jewelry from ex of 30 years but now with my new husband for 6 years almost 7. I’ve sold my real rice bed, my refrigerator just so he could trade first for a dirt bike, then this for a truck that had a head gasket going out and water in the oil, plus a 4 wheeler that was traded then when i received some back pay from my disability bought him another truck that had a great motor but had been wrecked so he sold the Honda Shadow 1100 i loved riding with him to get transmission repaired then we turned around and had to make a hugh move since the home we rented was sold out from under us and now were pretty much back in the same boat! Am i being selfish or is it the other way around? He doesn’t work, i bring in enough income for us both but he seems to spend it as fast as it comes in. Not to mention we have bills that must get paid too! Please give me advise on how to handle this type of man before i just wrap it up as a lost cause and move on without although we sleep face to face of he’ll hold me or I’ll sleep on his chest?
    Thank you but please help asap?

  9. Kerry

    What makes a man (your husband) put you in a position of let me swap our riding zero turn we still have 2 more payments to make before its ours for a Honda motorcycle that we wont have the funds to put it on the road legally or insure it for awhile but goes all day without saying a word to you except on how much you hurt his feelings and disappoint him mean?


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *