What He Hates to Hear

A Few Things You Should Avoid Saying to Men

There are many things you should never say to a man, such as: “You’re just like…,” “I hate your mom,” and my personal favorite, “Be a man.” These are statements directed at him, causing him to feel disrespected and belittled. Today, we are going to look at several common statements that women say, that are not hurtful, but are also not going to win you any awards for best girlfriend or wife of the year. These are the six things guys hate to hear.

“Are you okay?”

Certain questions are set on auto pilot in a man’s world. If someone asks a guy, “How’s it going?” He’ll reply, “Good.” If they say, “What have you been up to?” He’ll say, “Not much.” I’m sure you see the pattern here, which is that guys answer general questions with a general answer. If you want to get to the bottom of his solemn mood, open with a specific question about his day, and if he feels like talking, he’ll break his silence. Are their insecurities harming your relationship? Get past them with the help of Psychic Maryanne ext. 9146.

“How much is that going to cost?”

Talking about money in every relationship is very important. So important, in fact, that if you have a question about how your money is being spent, you better ask about it. The problem here is that some women jump to the cost issue, without even hearing her guy out. This is like dumping out his bucket of water before he’s had a chance to show you his prize toad. Spending discussions go smoothest if you allow your guy to pitch his case (“I want a Red Ryder BB gun…”), rather than just telling him he’ll shoot his eye out. Ask him questions, state your concerns, and allow him to come to a conclusion along with you. This will feel more like a group decision, and you’ll avoid the cold shoulder.

“I love you???”

Okay, ladies, before this phrase gets misunderstood, I would like to point out the three question marks at the end. Guys love to hear they are loved. There is no question about it. What guys don’t always appreciate is when it is used to draw out the same three words from him. It’s kind of like being the dummy in a ventriloquist act, but now the punchline has lost its meaning. If you are fishing for how things are going in the relationship, there are better ways to ask.

“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” – Blythe ext. 5339

“I’m tired.”

This is a common statement voiced by women all over the world. She’s had a long day, dealt with a lot of crap, and she could really use a foot rub. The problem with this is that many men take it as a form of rejection. He may not have had any “plans” for the evening, but now he feels as if he’s already been cast aside for an episode of The Voice. This is a general statement that can be easily misunderstood by men. A better idea is to lead with an short explanation of your day, and let him fill in the blanks for himself. “Oh, after all that, you must be tired!”

“Well, are you going to say anything?”

“No,” he replies. “I thought I would just sit here and listen to you talk a bit longer, and then go make a sandwich.” (Smash, he falls to the floor along with the broken vase). Most every guy has heard this phrase at some point, and it comes across as a challenge. In his mind it sounds more like, I dare you to say something else wrong. I double dare you! Guys are notorious for clamming up during a fight. However, if you finish what you’re saying, and stand your ground while waiting for a reply, he may take awhile, but eventually he’ll receive the message that it’s his turn to talk.

“Do these make me look fat? Please be honest.”

This common question drives men crazy. Let me see if I can understand the situation. This is when a women is not feeling good about herself, so she goes to her guy for an opinion that is supposed to ensure her that he still finds her attractive. She, of course, doesn’t want him to lie, so she throws in the “be honest” part. This guy who loves this woman, likes her body just the way it is, and wants her to be happy, has now found himself in an uncomfortable position. However he answers, what is really on the table is how fat she is, rather than how she looks in the pants. If you really want to know how you look, put a positive spin on your question. This will remove him from the hot seat and make it easier to get an honest answer out of him. Need some help realigning your relationship expectations? Psychic Shauna ext. 9010 can see where your relationship is headed.

7 thoughts on “What He Hates to Hear

  1. Sudeepa

    Hi Eric,

    Thanks for the article. But, I also feel that both men and women should not be so touchy when into a relationship so that one partner is afraid to freely talk to the other. If that happens, you only constrain the scope of the relationship.

  2. Reed x 5105Reed x 5105

    “Well, are you going to say anything?” = I dare you to say something else wrong. I double dare you!

    This really hits the nail on the head! Communication is so important in a relationship! Guys, this doesn’t have to be hard. Ladies, this doesn’t mean using more words.

    What it means is that we all could just actually say what we really mean.

    Depending on the situation “Well, are you going to say anything?” might go over better as “Will you tell me why you did that?” or “When you don’t say anything I worry that you aren’t listening.” The old “Are you going to say anything?” is a yes or no question. If you want him to actually talk, ask him to do so.

    “Are you okay?” Unless he just fell out of a plane, he’s okay. “Are you unhappy about _______?” “Do you want to talk about it?” Respect his “no” if that’s his answer.

    “Do these make me look fat?” Instead try, “Don’t I look amazing in this outfit?” (If you feel really good about it) or “I’m not sure about wearing this and I could use some reassurance.” (If you are unsure about your appearance).

    Say what you really mean and you could smooth out many bumps in a relationship.

    Reed x5105

  3. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi Eric,

    Loved his article !!!

    Very funny stuff …..but most of is true at least some of the time !!!

    These are good tips by the way.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  4. Andrea Davenort

    Maryanne, Thank you for sharing this informaton about What Men Hate To Hear. I found it to be insightful information on how to better COMMUNICATE WITH MY MAN, MY BEST FRIEND!!!

  5. Araanza

    I really appreciate these advices!! I’m often asking my partner ” Are you ok?” now I know the right way to ask!!! However Im sure we ask with the best intention indeed!!! Thanks?

  6. virgo2757

    Just for the record, women don’t like men to ask them the “How much is that going to cost?” question, either.


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