Getting Back on the Same Page as a Couple
A groundbreaking study recently discovered that most couples fight. Okay, perhaps not so earthshaking, but the interesting part of this study was that it suggested these couples argued as often as six days out of the week. While you may think most fights were fueled by these five common topics: money, sex, in-laws, kids, and chores; in reality, the majority of couples argue over mundane tasks, such as leaving the cap off the toothpaste, or forgetting to turn off a light. Let’s look at the most common arguments in relationships, and why they’re not always such a bad thing.
Give Me That Remote!
A very common argument among couples stems from a certain paddle, embossed with a series of numbers and symbols. This “remote control,” as us ancients call it, is a problem when one person is flicking through channels at the speed of light, while the other is sitting helpless next to them, yelling to slow down. Many arguments start with the misunderstanding that one partner does not care about how the other feels.
Good News: Most loving partners do care about your feelings. Getting angry is never as productive as just explaining how you feel, and letting your partner find a way to make things better.
Throw That Away!
Hoarders are a big problem in relationships. While it is very rare to come across a true hoarder, most of us have a tendency to hold onto things for either practical or sentimental reasons. The problem arises when someone accumulates so much, it begins to deplete the square footage of your home. In particular, men think that 98 percent of their joint bedroom is taken up by their partner’s shoes, and women consider a garage a miniature dumping ground for toilet seats and toxic sludge.
Good News: Most couples can work out space problems by organizing the house as a team.
What’s Taking So Long?
Part of being a couple is learning to divide each other’s time. When one partner is ready to go out, and the other, ahem, is still choosing between a pink pump with a black anklet, or a yellow pump with a blue feathery thingy around her shoulder, most guys say, Come on, what’s taking so long?
Good News: As couples get to know each other, they accept their eccentricities, and these fights become less dramatic.
I Heard You the First Time!
A lot of arguments stem from nagging. Most men and women don’t like to be told to do something once, much less six or seven times. This is because it can start to sound like a lobster being dragged across a chalk board.
Good News: Both men and women know what needs to get done. If you tell them once and they ignore you, there’s a good chance they’ll come through eventually on their own.
I Am Your Protector. How Dare You Question My Ability!
Men like to feel like the protectors of the family, and when their ability to accomplish this is questioned, they can begin to feel emasculated. I don’t know where the phrase, “backseat driver” came from, but most of us guys wish women were in the backseat during this action. Men feel shame when their skills are questioned, causing them to isolate, and counter these feelings with aggression (criticism, control, etc.)
Good News: Letting him get lost is a small price to pay for maintaining the healthy dynamics in your relationship.
“Trust is so important in relationships and it can be a deal breaker when trust has been broken.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435
I Need Protection (Support). Where’s My Knight?
Couples also argue when a woman does not feel like her needs are being met. In the animal kingdom, it is the woman who detects the first signs of danger (she has a better sense of smell and hearing), and expresses fear, to which the male reacts by forming a defensive barrier around her and his family (pack). Common problems arise when a guy fails to recognize her call (texts), or does not follow through with promises, thereby creating a feeling of insecurity.
Good News: If your guy is not there for you, it could be that he doesn’t know how to be.
Feeling rejected by your partner? Psychic Hern ext. 5239 can tell you what’s going on.
I’m Right No Matter How Wrong You Just Proved Me to Be
Couples also routinely fight about being right. As a guy, I have been guilty of losing the hair off my arms, just to prove to my wife that I really didn’t need to be careful while lighting the grill. “Yes, fire is supposed to explode out the top of the grill like that,” I say, as I nonchalantly pat a few flames from my shirt.
Good News: Nobody has any explanation for this behavior. However, no matter what your partner says, trust me, they do know when you’re right!