Weighing In On “Women Who Wait”

We had some excellent reader comments on Psychic Tansy’s article “Women Who Wait,” about women who date married men and are stuck waiting for them to get divorced. Check out what you had to say:

Fifteen years ago I had an affair with a married man. After three months I decided to walk away and never look back. After that, I swore I would never, ever be involved with a married man. Well, fifteen years later, I’ve gone and done it again.

When I first met Victor, it was an instant attraction. His charm and sense of humor really attracted me. The attention he showered me with was unbelievable. Well, after three months of dating, I realized that he was still with his ex-wife. I mentioned it to him, and he was honest enough to tell me that, yes, he was living with his ex-wife again. They are divorced, but they live together.

He swore he loved me, but I know deep down that he’ll never be mine. So I’ve chosen to walk away from the six-month relationship. As heartbreaking as it is and feels, I know that this is the best thing for me to do. Victor will always hold a special place in my heart. In time, I know I’ll be fine, and I look forward to the day I find my true mate in life. Harley666

But this reader feels differently:

In these modern times, relationships must suit individual personalities and situations. Why does everyone want what they feel that everyone else has? No two people are alike. It’s often worthwhile looking at what makes you happy. If the relationship satisfies you in the present, be happy with it. If it doesn’t, and you have another option, move on.

Remember that if he hasn’t committed to you, you are free, too! I hope this helps everyone experiencing angst. I like the idea that one learns from whatever situation they are in, so long as they like the lessons they are learning and feel richer because of them. The real lesson is to be happy with yourself. Remember that you came into this world alone, and will leave alone. Everything else is bonus! So to everyone, please stop playing the victim! If you can stop letting yourself be defined by your circumstances, that would be a good start!Startup

What do you think – what do you have to learn from dating unattainable partners?

8 thoughts on “Weighing In On “Women Who Wait”

  1. Pingback: Leaving Your Married Lover | California Psychics Blog

  2. misskrystalmisskrystal

    Gina Rose,
    You said it!!! Your stats and research clearly demonstrates that these opinions are not at all congruent with the general advice about married people and affairs. Bravo.

    Politically speaking, it appears that the American women have somehow built a clique or some type of “Sisterhood” club about these very personal situations. On that note, ladies, that would be being a judge and jury….Yes folks, it is being a judge. Please recall, that there are two sides to every story.

    Let me tell you ladies, one thing….I can’t begin to tell you all just how many miserable men have called me, wanting to get out of a long marriage, and not knowing how to do it. The conversation sometimes sounds like the song, “50 ways to leave your lover”- By Paul Simon….In other words, they want to leave, but which way should they do it, how and where?
    Sometimes they end up really doing it!

    Nevertheless, of course there are victims, some wives get the brutal end, and were treated terribly-I am not saying this does not happen, but there are two sides to every story. That is why a reader should never focus on the anger or tone, when a customer calls……We have to look at the situation with an objective mind. Because, as Gina Rose stated, with her stats, there is a huge divorce rate. I don’t think there is a generic answer to this. I really don’t….All of these situations are so unique. You really do have to look at this as objective as you can– because having the “Sisterhood” deal breaking approach could be the blaming game…..Sometimes things just happen, and whatever the outcome is, or could be, is what everyone, as readers, should be focusing on….

    I tell people, “I am not Dr. Phil”-I am here to help you, guide you, protect you-I am not the big story teller, I am your psychic reporter….I am going to report to you exactly what I see…But if you are upset, I will comfort you and will inspire you with only the truth…No opinions…

    So it’s not about what I see as right or wrong, it’s what is really going to happen….I have no control over that. An outcome is an outcome…Sure some of us psychics have some shortcut tips, but, we have not any control over why affairs are happening. All we can do is help guide you as points for departure.

    Thanks,
    Miss Krystal

    Reply
  3. browneyesbrowneyes

    It so easy to find yourself in one of these situations too. As I have found, it sometimes happens so slowly that you really dont realize it. One day its just friends then all of a sudden there are deep feelings that you realize have been festering for months. Hard call to make. Common sense tells you to cut and run, but feelings tell you to wait a while. There will be hearbreak for someone no matter what if there are truly feelings there for either party. But I am surely learning that we dont live in a perfect world and these things are gonna happen no matter what. Very confusing situation to be in for sure. I guess everyone has to weigh the options and decide what they should do for themselves. Only we know if we are happy by what our heart tells us.

    Reply
  4. Jai Krishna Ponnappan

    Hello,
    I’ve never been married so I have no idea about how they manage different degrees of infidelity or even participate in it. I still found many of the responses really strange. It goes to show a lack of respect for all relationships in general. I find people struggle to define Love so they settle for what they think is their most appropriate definition that meets their needs for happiness. They just label it as a ‘Relationship’ as per their convenience. And this thing called dating, what’s the point of the exercise? …Love? Not really….Love isn’t something you read from a dictionary, watch in a romantic movie or observe in somebody else’s relationship. Love is really intangible so much so that not even words can hold its true meaning. Love is like a dove above humanity and all its words. Words at best are misleading if not deceiving. So you don’t understand it because it’s poorly defined. Now it gets even harder to come to know or experience a thing such as true Love. By our society’s norms Dating is ok, warm fuzzies are ok, fancy romance is ok, relationships are ok, good sex is healthy, functional marriages are a must do, they even say cheating is ok wow. People make planes fly, and tall skyscrapers but struggle to make Love stick, they all of sudden transform and say ‘they’re only human’. In this world Love is like a sapling that gets trampled upon and torn down before it becomes a fruitful tree. Over the last 15 years growin up I have seen may be a handful of brave and bold men who have dared to Love. Love was made out to be a horrid crime in all cases. Kind of like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet forced to go straight down the hill because the society and social environment we live in to this day is still non- conducive and judgmental of things like Love. False friends, a lack of support, envy and people who are busy poking their noses and trying to draw triangles and circles are just some of the reasons why. To Love, well they haven’t been there, it hasn’t really been defined, so it becomes a target for the axe. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance of things like Love is truly a false sense of bliss, and a poor substitute for the real thing. Love was never meant for the faint hearted or the weak that may fall prey to society. Love is defined only in the hearts of those who are brave enough, bold enough and strong enough in heavenly virtues like hope, faith and patience. Why? …………Cause Love is a piece of heaven inside your heart. True Love is not just Karmic; it is the reason and the cause. You, me and Karma are lucky to serve and facilitate things like Love. If you seek Love, be bold, brave and strong. This world will make you struggle and fight for it. They’ll try their best to convince you that what they’ve settled for is the best phony recreation in the name of Love and call it things like dating, warm fuzzies, fancy romance, mundane makeshift relationships, good sex, dys/functional marriages, cheating, infidelity etc. Everybody deserves to Love and be Loved. Exercise courage, strength, desire, hope, faith and patience and you’ll make it to Love’s destiny. And if you can’t, identify and admit your weaknesses and don’t spoil it for those who try cause we already have too many who do that.

    P.S – The only place you’ll find the happiness and meaning of true Love is in your heart. Looking for something that’s above the noise of humanity’s intelligence in all the wrong places is the reason why Lovers become victims of those who rob them of their prize.

    – Blessings and best wishes to all those who dare to stand up for Love.
    – Jai Krishna Ponnappan

    Reply
  5. maryannex9146maryannex9146

    Hi,

    I agree that if one is happy in their current situation, whatever it may be, that is an important factor in deciding if that is where one should be right at that moment. As mentioned above, even if one is “learning lessons”, if you are happy with the lessons being learned, that is the right place for you.

    A couple of areas where I have a differing opinion include mentioning having “another option” before moving on if one is unhappy. My belief is that it is more powerful to move on if we are unhappy even without “another option”. We are much more likely to find that “other option” if there is space in our lives for the other option to come in.

    With reference to those callers who are unhappy in their situation of waiting for someone else to divorce or change their relationship substantially, it is my belief waiting unhappily or, let’s face it-in some cases, miserably is not productive with regard to changing the situation or the highest, best use of the caller’s time. It’s my opinion and experience that it is much more powerful for a client to focus on themselves and their own interests to achieve that which they desire in their lives than to be in an unhappy “waiting” situation.

    Hope this helps,

    Sincerely,

    Maryanne
    X9146

    Reply
  6. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi,

    Thought I would look up and post the stats……below are some hardcore stats….

    ****** keep in mind that I am totally just an unbiased observer******…..

    Data in the Census report were collected from both men and women, age 15 and over is as follows :

    About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women’s first marriages may end in divorce for these age groups.

    The likelihood of a divorce is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 % of men
    and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by the end of their lives.

    So there you go….. those are the numbers.

    Call the psychic of your choice…..let them look at your entire situation to see if it is in your best interest to stay in an affair or to leave.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply
  7. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    Hi,
    Very interesting….

    ……..” you cannot lose what you never had ” and…….
    …. ” you come into this world alone and you are leaving the same way ” are phrases that I post in here all of the time”…..yes, it is true….we are all here to learn and grow and walk our individual Karmic path.

    I do agree with harley666……setting your cap on obtaining a married man is a 50/50 shot to begin with, that he may or may not leave the wife…..

    ….but, the statistical numbers tell the whole story…… with the national divorce statistical rate at over 50%….somebody is clearly getting divorced these days. SOoooo….the chances of any married man leaving his marriage is 50/50…..that is a hard fact.

    Some women choose to wait…some don’t……different strokes for different folks. Everybody’s situation is unique and different…..

    As a professional psychic, I do not judge a client…… and normally a client calls me long AFTER they are already embroiled in a situation.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

    Reply

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