Remember when bad girls did it and good girls didn’t? Well these days it’s more important to be good in the bedroom than it is to be a “good” girl. Even the word “girl” doesn’t fit modern women — educated, confident and keenly interested in developing their lives — and that includes their love lives!
Likewise, keeping the peace (or “being good”) in relationships is less important than being honest about them. Since it’s a turn on when someone says what they want, how they want it and who they want it with, more and more women are deciding that now is the time to go for whatever it is they want – sex included. But is it?
Here are some reasons why women are jumping into the sack for the sake of sex, and just a few of the current challenges men and women of all orientations face in the ever-evolving state of relationships.
If you think men are more competitive than women, well, think again. What looks like a high capacity for complex social relationships is really a layered web of competition. Women pick a best friend and they pick a best lover. They’re just plain picky about a lot of things. Evolution gives her 1 egg a month, and even though the immediate goal may not be pregnancy, biology plays into the selection process. If a woman has found someone she desires in the bedroom, she wants to lock that down and keep him or her busy so no one else can take her place.
Sex is great exercise and terrific stress management. It’s great for the core, gets the endorphins flowing and nurtures intimacy in a relationship even if you can’t jet off for a romantic weekend in between board meetings and/or soccer games. It’s a natural desire, a deep drive that contributes to feeling whole as a person. And as women leave behind old ideas about the martyrdom of the past, they’re saying, “I am women – and this is what I need, too.” No need to roar, unless you’re into that sort of thing.
Restoration (or Obligation)
Gloria Steinem and the gang have done a lot — but there may be some biological realities that no amount of equality can touch, particularly in long-term committed relationships. Women often have sex because they feel obliged. The agreement of a monogamous relationship — married or not — is that you have to take care of your partner’s needs. And while sometimes being a superhero can leave a woman pretty tired (diapers and carpooling just aren’t natural aphrodisiacs), there’s the partner with whom you’re sharing a home to consider. Rejecting them can have more emotional fall out than just going with the flow, despite the fact that every libido has a clock of its own. Obligatory or otherwise, sex can be quick fix to the little things. It can stop bickering and tension and restore a connection and that, many women feel, is well worth the effort.
With freedom comes more choices than most of us know what to do with. Good women go for it, in every area of their lives. So, indulge, be safe and love the one you’re with for any reason you choose!
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