Video: How to Forgive a Cheating Spouse

Should You Throw Them Out or Forgive Them?

You just found out that your partner cheated. They broke vows, promises and just plain lied. Usually shock quickly turns to anger, and you might do something you will later regret. Before that happens, get mad! Scream and yell until you’re hoarse, then call a psychic.

You might be thinking that’s the last thing you want to do in the middle of a crisis. However, Psychic Nevaeh ext. 5203 advises that this is the perfect time to call. Here’s why: she can connect to the situation, see the big picture and look down the road to see how things could turn out. She can see if you break up now what could happen or what would happen if you forgave your partner.


So while it is important to feel what you’re feeling and talking with your partner, it’s also important to forgive your partner for cheating and yourself. Nevaeh has seen first hand how someone will immediately break up with their partner due to cheating. Unfortunately, the person was short-sighted and ended up making a bad situation worse.

People have also remarked that until they can forgive the act and/or the person, it’s hard to move on. They feel stuck in their life or in a never-ending whirlwind of drama and doubt. Breaking through your pain and forgiving can help the relationship’s energy flow forward.

If you do forgive, go back with an open mind, recommends Nevaeh. Rebuild the trust, although it will be difficult and potentially a long process. Most of all, don’t expect them to cheat again or worry if they will. You will be closing your mind and the relationship’s energy if you do. We all make mistakes, you included.

It’s Not Your Fault

Too often callers feel it is their fault that their partner cheated. My response is: So you’re responsible for everything your partner does? If you are, then where does your life, your personality, end and their’s begin? Are you living for yourself or for your partner? You might need to untangle yourself from your partner and start living your own life. When you do, you’ll see each person is responsible for their own choices, no one else’s.

Time to Evaluate Your Relationship

While Nevaeh gives a reading, she can see the relationship’s past. Sometimes, she will remark that things have not been going so well, and the caller will respond, “I know.” Instinctively, we know when things have gone askew, but it can take courage to confront it with your partner. You may not even have the words to describe what’s going on. You just know something is off. Go with your gut and talk with your partner. Even if there isn’t anything going on, at least you’ve talked through something that could blow up later. Don’t let the large, pink elephant remain part of your relationship, if you can control it at all.

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22 thoughts on “Video: How to Forgive a Cheating Spouse

  1. Mary Carson

    My husband of 18 years cheated, twice. He asked for a divorce while he was with the second one. When that didn’t work out, he decided to come back to me. That’s when his girlfriend proceeded to tell me about the first time he cheated on me some years earlier. I never had a clue about that one.

    My heart is broken. I’m happy that he came back to me. But how do I get past the pain and feel like we have a true loving marriage? He won’t talk about anything that has happened. His response is that he doesn’t want to talk about the past because it could affect the future. Too late. It’s already affected the now and the future. When he does answer any questions I get up the nerve to ask, he responds that he doesn’t know or doesn’t remember. How can I move forward with no communication? I don’t know what happened or why.

    I never even got mad at him through everything. I was just extremely hurt and utterly depressed. And I still did all I could to remain friends with him. I even talked him through some of the issues he had with his girlfriend! Stupid me!

    We do have two children together. Did he really just come back for them and because he knew I would take him back? He says he loves me. But does he really? I don’t know what to believe anymore. And I’m tired of being the only one working on this marraige.

  2. Sue

    When mine cheated the first time, all he could say was “I’d leave you, but you’d take half of all I have”. At the time, all I wanted was enough to take care of my 4 kids, and to raise the kids in a stable home. Instead, like a fool, I stayed and he made me and the kids miserable until he cheated again, and then I was gone — along with my half of the marriage assets.

  3. estela

    Is very hard to forgive someone who you trust and love/ When I find out that my ex,cheated on me ,it was so painful. I comfronted and he lied to me, he said for the sake of my kid I wouldnt call ,write or see her. (He said in the morning) but later on he was talking and see her againg. I cant live with somebody like that. He trick me many times because He didnt want to loose 1/2 of our assets. Wbecausee stop the divorce, but it didnt work.To live with him before divorce was a nitemare,he move out,but he rented a house 4 house from my house,She came there all the time.Thanks God after 7 month we divorced.He still verbal atack me because my13 years all.

  4. Famous Person #11

    If there is cheating in a relationship, that simply means there is a problem in the relationship. Known or unknown by one or all involved, there is a problem. Getting past the problem requires the problem be identified. Obviously, communication is key.

    In short, if you want to know what is wrong, you have to communicate with one another.

  5. Paula Merritt

    I was with a man who showed me quick he didn’t know what he wanted. We moved in together in 2004 and he asked me to leave less than a year later. I was heartbroken, I’d finally started moving on from a marriage of 11 years when my heart was stomped on again.
    I left only to take him back soon after, in fact we went through 4 break ups initiated by him, then he wanted to try again but I wasn’t sure my god I’d been stupid all the times I did go back. But I love this man.
    Finally in 2007 after seeing me and someone from online (couple of someones) he came to me on his knee and said he was tired of what he’d been doing and it was me he wanted all along and how stupid he was for doing what he did. He asked to marry me and I really wanted to shout YES, but told him I still didn’t trust him. He swore all the past was over, so he and I began lookn for a house and soon moved in together again. I was in knots all the time waiting for the ball to drop and 6 months later it did. He’d been online, texting, calling some slut from myspace. I knew he was up to something b/c he always started snapping and being really short with me when he was a dog before so I got on the computer and found emails from her and him to her……and they were not Rated G…..I was livid and wanted him out but wanted to see what was happening. I patiently waited, with knots all the time, only a week until, She called one day with him in the shower and I answered, “I have the wrong number”she said, stunned I had answered. I said “oh no hon you don’t have the wrong number.” And preceded to tell her to LOSE ALL his info. email address, cell number, etc… And when he got out of the shower….BAM I hit him with it and told him if he didn’t call her and tell her it’s over then I was out the door. Well he did it but took a couple days for her to get the idea. He told her he loved me and I was who he would be with. It took me almost 2 years to BEGIN to trust him again. I hated when he got on the computer and was in knots when he did. Checked his history and emails and all looked fine.
    Fast Fwd to 2011. We split in February, he left one night b/c he got mad at me. I told him he wasn’t coming back. Well 4 weeks later, we met for dinner and he begged me for a chance again. I said, he couldn’t come home b/c my children were FURIOUS and we had to ease in and counseling. He agreed. I knew of an adult website he frequently visited, set up a fake account wrote about myself what I knew he’d like and waited. 2 days after that date for dinner I got an email at the site and it was from him, saying things he shouldn’t. Out of THOUSANDS of women, I was one he contacted. How is that for the universe saying DON’T DO IT.
    He isn’t going to change, he may behave for a while, but ladies MOST men who cheat WILL do it again you may not ever know it but they will.
    Don’t be stupid like I was. You don’t deserve treatment like that. We should be revered by a man, not stomped consistantly

  6. Jessi

    I cheated on my spouse because of my insecurities. I blamed my husband for our problems i was wrong Darren and I am a woman and went back to my husband and we worked through this and I love him with all my heart. Women do go back Darren. Many women go back this is so unfair to say every woman leaves. Some do leave. The psychic was upfront she sensed the cheating, she is inspirational psychic. If my husband called and a psychic just blurted out: Your wife is cheating on you, he’d hang up and not call back. He did this. This psychic is trying to tell the caller who might just jump off a bridge or something in a kinder and softer way then just blurting it out and getting a hang up/she said it isn’t the end of the world and it’s not. You have to be tender in situations like this as some people have gone and hurt others over this like OJ he Thought the worst. You don’t always know what someone is going to do Darren. I think the psychic who wrote this also concludes she saw the cheater. I think it was money well spent.

  7. Lisl

    Going through it, I concur that it’s not your fault (though he will say it is), and we MUST make our needs and expectations known. The worst thing is to keep our suspicions inside and be a martyr. I’ve lost much good sleep over this.

    I have now confronted the man, who has been cheating throughout 8 years of reln. Though painful to finally acknowledge fully, it is also a great burden lifted. I am not confronting with anger, but simply asking that we be able to clarify what sort of reln. we will have. “Will it remain open, or do you wish to be exclusive?” He will not engage, but instead offers provisional goodies, like “pay upon death” insurance policies. What is this about?

    I think it’s called, “keeping me on the line”. Sad when people can’t simply be honest and lower the reactivity.

  8. -quinn ext. 5484

    it is so sad that loving more than one person is considered a bad thing. i have forgiven over and over a husband i was with in a 17 year marriage. although cheating was not the factor that took us down, he still to this day cheats – we have been divorced since 1991.
    and he cries he has no love in his heart for anyone but me… its not his heart that i was worried about! he sure had plenty of love in his pants!
    keeping an open mind like nevaha said is very important if you stay with a cheater. i always thought that he might get old enough one day to stop, but that has yet to happen.
    some people i guess just have bigger needs.

  9. Nerry

    great advice. It is true i was cheated on only once with drugs and Alcohol involved. He had a one night stand (off his face). We broke up i never moved on i’d lost my best friend and my lover everything. He cut off all his friends involved in drugs changed his number and moved in with his parents got a steady job and went back and started studying as well to advance his career. I ran into him 6 months later i just wanted to run up and hug him my heart was pounding out of my chest i missed him so much. We gave it another go he had changed so much on his own accord. Years on now our relationship is better then what it ever was even before he cheated. It was hard to forgive and forget it took about 2 years to fully trust again but once you have lost something that you really loved once you never want to lose it again he says. He is my best friend and we have had a beautiful life together. Depending on the circumstances of cheating in my case i’m glad i gave it another go i would of alwyas wonder if i didn’t give it another go because everyone does make mistakes. any more then once though i’m gone..

  10. misc

    Everyone has different desires, I think it is important to see if it theres are in line with yours and if it will really work for you. Sometimes it really helps us be clear on what we want. I was with a few partners that wanted to be with more than one person and tried to be ok with it and be with them still but truth was I was torn up inside. No matter how much rationale was there, I was happy that they happy but unhappy because I really wanted a partner I could go deeper with. And maybe its just that I am more jealous and possessive of a person to not be ok with the whole multiple partners game but I am ok with that as a limit. I really feel that being clear with what you want is essential. And then the other can be clear with what they want to and if they want to be with others be happy and send them on their way. No sense you getting dragged through the mud. I do think there is opportunity for love after infidelity, but it really depends where it came from, was it just that they made a mistake and that made them realize they love you and are ready to be committed or is it that they really have a different set of desires that is not congruent with what you or they want in a relationship. Is there allot of lying associated with it, or is there a sincerity and acknowledgement and communication there that allows you to move together past it. Forgiveness is about letting yourself feel happy for the other and also able to relieve yourself from carrying around resentment and anger which is not being loving to yourself. It is important to have an avenue to acknowledge first the negative emotions and express them and then to let them go lovingly. For your happiness and theres in the long run it is the best remedy. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to continue your relationship or be friends it just means that you wish them well and yourself well and allow yourself to move on and create a perspective that what they did had more to do with them than you, and the part that had to do with you may be you getting really clear on what you want, and being able to create that for yourself by loving, trusting and choosing the best for yourself and giving yourself and other the freedom and space to be as you are and change and grow. Trusting that if it is love they will stay and if not they will go and creating a space where you can be honest to yourself and thus creating a feeling they can be honest with you. For me being cheated on was only the most painful when there was dishonesty involved, but when the other was honest to me and I knew what getting into then it still hurt because I attached but it much less painful and much more loving and easier for me to forgive. When I more domineering, controlling and possessive the more the lies came, but when I really just trusting and open it easier for my partner to say what come up for them or what they feeling or admit to something they did because they knew they would be received with love than reprimand. That trust also creates love and often is more possibility cheating won’t happen if there. Especially when it a guy cheating, if he feels untrusted often times it can add incentive to cheat because he wants that admiration and approval and trust. Not that it is always going to happen that way but it can be the hair that breaks the camels back.

  11. Fiona x5178

    Good article. Just remember–Cheating is never about you personally. It’s not about some sort of emotional failure on your part. It’s not about “What did I do wrong?”
    It’s about the issues of the partner–their maturity level; their ability to honor commitment, their level of integrity, stuff like that.
    It’s not about you! It just feels like it is.

  12. pj

    how do you forgive when they never said sorry and to this day liying about it ? you cant help but to bring his affaire up he sweeps it under the carpet and it keeps coming out. he has been busted by me friends and his co-worker who called me we lost most of our friends over it and I understand why the women dont want him around, I agree that you shouldn’t jump to leave but on the other hand start to make a plain for a good exit for your self, trust LOL when he broke it and wont fix it, I met my best friend on this topic so thank you,

  13. Lisa Miller

    Wow, what an amazing blog. This same thing happened in my own personal relationship (its a long story). The bottom line, I was unale to fogive and move on, I thought I had yet continued to bring the persons name up time and again. My situation was a little different though as he continued to talk to her and “remain friends”. I was willing to forgive and move forward and yet when asked to make a choice, he refused and I was done. But yes, if your partner is wiling to cut all ties with the individual…I believe there can be a beautiful life in store. Thank you so much for shedding some much needed light on a touchy subject.

  14. Patsy Dunn

    Your informative answers to lots of questions are very inspiring to my life.I am going through a bad relationship crisis and your comments here are very helpful to try to pull myself through my situation.

  15. Darren Brennan

    While, that was a nice video. My only solution, to a cheating spouse, is let her go. Women, are like bad habits. Once, they break, they never come back. It’s yo easy, for a woman, to continue, to hurt, the man she is with. Imagine, a woman, seeks, a strong man, who is solid, in foundation. Once,, that foundation, is broken. She moves on, to another. It’s been this way, forever, and I see no reason, while this will change. FYI? It’s called, evolution! Things pass, from one to another. So, instead, of giving bad advice, or saying, I sense, another woman, tell the people the truth. Anything other, than the truth, in my eye’s makes you, the same, as the cheating partner? Not a person, or place, I would want to do business with, or confide in… In my eye’s? You failed, a caller, who paid you good money, for a better insight Shame on you…

  16. Cathy

    what? Don’t go back! don’t forgive him! Seriously, you are telling him it is ok and he WILL do it again. and Again. and again. Really poor advice. Speaking from experience.

  17. ayobami

    It is difficult to forgive a cheating partner,if you forgive it is difficult to forget particularly when your partner is an unrepentant cheater.a man who believe is a right and as a man he can cheat


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