Timing is Everything

When I first talked to Haile — not her real name — she was just in the process of leaving a 20 year marriage. She had 3 children and was coming from a place of hurt on all levels. Her husband had consistently cheated and belittled her to keep her in a place of sadness and hopelessness. She finally got the strength to leave him.

In the process of the divorce, her son felt torn between his mother and father. He opted to go with his Dad. I told her not to worry, her son would be back to stay when he could heal from their breakup. I told her to just enjoy the time with her daughter. After the divorce, she began getting her self-confidence back and she started meeting people.

She met a man she was crazy about but yet it was never right. I felt his ex-wife around him all the time — even though he said he was divorced, he was really never able to be there for her. They were still playing games back and forth. She finally said enough and left that relationship that seemed to lean one way… his.

Then she met Ron (not his real name) a very successful business man. They had a whirlwind start up. The first 3 months was sheer bliss and then it happened. He got scared when the ex-boyfriend started calling her. Ron shut down his emotions and threw the wall up. No matter what Haile said to Ron, it did not matter. The fear of him totally giving his heart and her leaving was the overwhelming state of mind. Then he started talking to an ex which really bothered Haile. Now they both had the same thing brewing. Ron had a very painful marriage and divorce which left major scars on him. I had told her he would be back when he could emerge past the fear that was holding him back and he had no intentions of letting her too far from his sight.

I guided her to do what soothes her soul and do things that make her happy. Haile decided that there was nothing she could do but put her time and energy into other things. She is a professional Hula Dancer, teacher, and she is also a very talented singer. She joined a new church and choir. The choir filled her spirit with so much faith and love she just felt everything would work out for the best no matter what. She would call and tell me she just knew it would be ok and I validated that the “Ah Ha” moment would hit Ron.

In the meantime Ron and Haile stayed in the friends category. No intimacy, talked on a regular basis, had dinners, played board games with her daughter. She called one day heart broken — she saw him on Match as an active member. I told her he would not have any connections and not to worry. I conveyed that if she stayed away from focusing on it he would loose interest.

This whole thing started in the summer of 2007. Ron moved to Illinois, his home state in 2009. Haile was sad to see him go but wished him well. Again as she told me the story I said it’s not over yet my dear. Ron called in July and told her he had just bought a beautiful 7 bedroom house and wanted her and her son to come visit in August for a month. I had predicted she would come back engaged.

Here’s the kicker: Haile lost her son for a few years to the ex and Ron lost his kids to his ex. Haile and Ron got their kids back in June. His daughter was so excited they were coming. When she returned in September, she called me and said, “You were right! I’m engaged!”

Ron said he just could not live without her and asked her to move to Illinois with him. The “Ah Ha” moment went off in his head. She moved the week before Thanksgiving.

The moral of the story is this whole process took 2 years to unfold. Haile healed from her previous relationship. Ron healed from his insecurities and allowed love back into his heart. She called me last week to tell me how very happy they all are. Unconditional love and patience pays off.

Many Blessings,

Abigail ext. 9570

26 thoughts on “Timing is Everything

  1. Rebecca

    Hi Abigail: I have had psychics tell me consistently that D. truly loves me and that he and I will end up married. I have only seen him 2x since June and I am doing my best to concentrate on me, but I wonder when it will happen. I do care for him so much! Last year a psychic predicted a wonderful Valentine’s Day with him–here it is and I have not heard from him. B.

  2. blueyedgirl

    Thank you for posting this piece! I have been trying to get my only love out of my heart and dreams, for it seemed that in the end, he would not/could not commit to me fully. I have tried to move on but any others feel like just shadows of what I know love to be. Maybe there is a reason I cannot seem to let go….

  3. Tante Lynn

    There’s a lot of truth in this article. Women’s love lives would go much smoother if they learned to see that a breakup is often a blessing in disguise.

    Sometimes the other person just needs space, but sometimes they have done you an enormous favor by making room for someone better.

    Once I tried to manifest a relationship. I asked for emotional availabity, financial stability, and so on. Someone came into my life very quickly, who not only had all those qualities, but much more. Then I realized I could not feel secure in a relationship with him, because I was not the person I wanted to attract. It had to end, and I needed space to grow those qualities in myself.

    This same process happens in men as well. We need to cut them some slack and not expect things to proceed as they do in fiction.

    Responding to some of the comments below, if you say you’ve let go, but you’re still attached to the person being “the one”, you haven’t truly let go.

    You have to get into your “happy place” and say, “this or something better, with the highest good for all concerned.”

    Tante Lynn

  4. Shaina

    This story truly gives me hope for my future!
    I am currently married, 5 years, and I love my husband but I dont think he loves me the same as I do him. I think he is looking for a way out of our marriage, showing interest in other woman including his Ex. When i bring up the subject, he has no defense. I wonder how he really feels and where our marriage is headed.
    I often find myself planning my own escape route, but I dont feel strong enough to leave him.
    This story proves to me that it is possible to leave and be happy again!

  5. Rafaella

    I’m going through something similar. I have been waiting for a man to approach me and open up to me for more than a year now…. Its hard being patient and many times I get emotional and angry that he is taking so much time.

    He is married, bad marriage, controlling and evil wife, and he has lost trust in love… he has been hurt… but he will come to me when he is ready to trust love again… I have been told all this by numerous psychics…
    but I don’t communicate with him much… Whenever we see each other, we can sometimes speak a thousand words through our eyes and behaviour, but nothing still verbally… Am I wasting my time? My heart is saying I’m not and that I just have to gather my patience just a bit longer because he is almost ready… So many times I wrote emails to him that I never sent, messages that I later deleted, because it won’t matter. He would never reply, it will just make me more frustrated and cause me pain… I have to let him decide when the right time is… I wish I could help him to stop wasting time and just take action now…

    I got the ‘Ah-ha’ moment back in October 2009, after a week in tears and quiet pain…Still even though I know he is the one I will be happiest with, I’m ready to see others even just for a short while just to make myself happy… This loneliness is killing me…


  6. indigodanceIndigodance

    Ohhh.. after reading this I now feel I still have a chance with the one I love… I know this is a soulmate connection because of the lessons we are going through. They are meaningful (yes painful) but we keep coming out the other side stronger each time.

    Yes, distance is keeping us apart – but also fear of commitment. Its taken me a nearly a year to find the inner strength to wake up to the fact I am prepared to leave my emotionally abusive husband for this man.

    I am just hoping its not too late as he has now found “friend with benefits” in the mean time..

    I will never stop loving him, even if he dosnt want to be with me now.

  7. childofafrica

    My partner and I have been together for 22 years – on and off. He was physically and emotionally abusive in the formative years of our relationship. Now he is just emotionally abusive. I had a reading with a psychic who told me he is not committed to me (we are not married)and never will be. She advised me to leave. She said this would happen this year, but I’m not sure how, because he seems to be trying so hard to be loving and supportive. When do I get my AHa moment that this is meant to be or that I should leave?

  8. Louise Luna

    I coud not find a comment section for the topic, Marry Him! so I will use this one. I could not disagree more with marrying someone that you feel you have “settled” for. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to him. These days we are not concerned with “marriage”, young women want a “wedding”. The outragous amounts of money spent and then the “marriage” lasts maybe one to two years is something I have heard many times over. If you settle, when the boat rocks, and you need to be strong and your partner as well, that is where the settling will rear it’s ugly head.

    Also, simply by settling, whether we acknowledge it or not, there will be subtle signs sent by a person who feels they have “settled”. There is no Mr./Ms. Perfect. We are human beings and come with our baggage. Living with anyone is hard, a roommate, a sibling, a parent. It’s no different with a married couple. I again, have to refer to the craziness of the bridal business that so many young couples fall into. The wedding is not the marriage. The thousands of dollars that go to these bridal outfits can go toward a house and security. When things get rocky, or downright tumbling down, the only thing, the only thread between the two people is their connection.

    ‘Settling’ is such an inferior way to first of all, view your “husband”, and dollars to donuts, at the first crack in the mirror, that old feeling of ‘I should have waited, will be in one’s head. Not for Mr. Perfect, but for someone I truly respected, admired, loved and believed in.

  9. Abigail Ext 9570

    He is not use to a “healthy relationship” it’s an unknown it feels funny it’s like letting go of a bad habit. Good things are coming in 2010. I send you love and light.

    Many Blessings

  10. donna

    Hi Abigail. Thank you for this posting. I am in a relationship with a man who is in pain and going through a tough time. We are not communicating or seeing each other right now except in spirits. I have been speaking with many pshychics here. All have told me he will contact me in FEb/MArch. I am waiting for things to unfold. They all say he thinks about me everyday. EVerything i am hearing from these psychics feel intuitively right. But without their insights and guidance, I would have been lost and confused as to why a man who loves you so much could choose to leave you and not open up to you. I know that men tend to keep things to themselves when they are in pain,but it’s still hard that he is so shut down and not open up to me. I am told he will. I guess like you said, timing is everything.

  11. ciree

    I needed to hear this. Have been in a relationship with a wonderful man whose wife killed herself three years ago, meth addict…cheated on him, etc. We get along good, then he backs off, then good, then backs off, etc. He is going through one of the bad times right now. I know he needs more time, and I love him, I will always be there for him and am not going anywhere. But hearing this has made me know I am not crazy. Thank you!

  12. Laurie

    I felt like this incredible story of hope and inspiration was written for my eyes only.
    Thank you so very much, Abigail for this uplifting story. The lovely Haile and I have much in common.
    My current relationship just landed in the “friend” zone. I am not saddened, confused is more accurate. I am taking the personal timeout to focus my attention on me, and my personal happiness. This is certainly lightening my load.
    In my heart, I know that all will end as well for me, the real happily ever after. In the meantime I also have this wonderful sense of peace in just the knowing. First time ever experiencing this, and I am learning to let go and simply appreciate the joy this unique and valuable relationship brings me.

  13. Psychic Maryanne Ext. 9146

    Thanks for a wonderful story about the value of staying focused on what is best for us and our future even when it would be easy to become distracted by what seems to be “not working out” right at that moment.
    And for emphasizing that it does take time for things to come together in a positive outcome.
    Wonderful article, thanks again.
    Psychic Maryanne
    Ext. 9146

  14. Abigail Ext 9570

    Dear Believer,
    It is a wonderful turn for the lady in the story who thought the end of her marriage was the end. It was a blessing in diguise it was the end of the pain. Sometimes we loose sight of the pain /pleasure things in life. Even though she loved her husband deeply the pain was to much to bear. Now she is happy, loved and adored 🙂
    Many Blessings

  15. Abigail Ext 9570

    Listen to the sound of one hand clapping… quite the mind. Let the worry go… keep your mind on things that bring you smiles and make you happy. In that happiness will attract more happiness. Focusing on what you do not have brings more of what’s missing. You have a very busy mind. You should journel you just may decide you want to write. 🙂 Keep on smiling you deserve happiness now creare it from within and I promise you the rest will follow
    Many Blessings

  16. Abigail Ext 9570

    Hello Amelia,
    Yes it’s hard to do.Coming from a place of non-dependency is healthy. Co-dependant relationships get dysfunctional. Its important to not loose yourself in another person at the same time learn to share yourself.
    Many Blessings

  17. believerBeliever

    Hi Abigail,
    What a fantastic story!
    It goes to show that one just never knows…life is full of suprises!
    Thanks for sharing, it gives many hope.

  18. Pia

    Dear Abigail, Thank you for posting this . Sometimes when it is rough reading something like this tells you what one thinks is possible. You have read for me and have said he will come around soon. I have been with this guy for almost 2 years now on and off and I love him unconditinally. I always will no matter what and I pray everyday that the right time is just around corner. Thanks again.

  19. browneyesbrowneyes

    Thank you Abigail for this story. Seems I may be waiting a long time too. I guess my love interest and I both have a lot to learn and a lot to go through before the “aha” moment. But Im hanging in there and even though Im not as focused on him as I used to be, I dont feel that my love for him has decreased in the least. Just cant seem to find anything other than a slight interest in anyone else that I meet. These stories of success help us to stay positive. Thank you again.

  20. Psychic Amelia 9772

    Interesting topic, Abigail and one we hear about so often. Halle is wise to recognize when things are just one-sided and leave. So often the scales of ‘give and take’ are so unbalanced that it is very hard to ever get back in sync. It is better to be alone (and keep all of your options open for meeting someone who IS suitable) than to stay with someone who is a drain on your energy both physically and emotionally. It takes a lot of strength to leave, but it is always the right thing to do.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *