We’ve recently heard a lot about the douche bags of the world: Tiger Woods, Jesse James, David Boreanaz. We’re constantly subjected to rants about how men can’t be trusted, think with their penises, are all cheaters, and so on. Actually, the latest studies show that women are just as likely to cheat, but that they do a much better job in covering it up. We also have to remember who these guys cheated with! I think that most of these women knew perfectly well what they were doing, and simply didn’t have a problem sleeping with a married man, just as they didn’t have a problem trying to make money off of their affairs or even trying to blackmail the guys they slept with. When it comes to getting the person they want, women are much more cunning than men.
Women have a much bigger arsenal, and therefore do more damage. We tend to be rather intuitive – we sense how others feel, and we tend to have people confide in and open up to us. So when a woman decides to go over to the dark side, it gets bad! Women will hit below the belt and use anything and everything to hurt their target. They tend to be much more deliberate (and sneaky) in their delivery. Whereas guys get into brawls, women go public and write nasty things in public forums. We’re passive aggressive, and we often don’t confront people directly at all. Guys bust in noses. We bust in reputations.
What makes women rather lethal is our unwillingness to forgive and move on. When bad things happen to us, we are usually more able to articulate our emotions, and therefore we are perfect in making excuses and justifying even our most despicable behaviors. Men bottle things up. We spew them out to the world. Maybe we play the victim better, so that when we tell our sob stories, others tend to buy into it. Support of one’s bad behaviors leads to more of the same, and I know many who are quite skilled in getting continuous buy-in from those who are more than willing to agree on how bad they have had it or still have it.
But not all is lost, and we do have advantages over men. We do tend to be more willing to work on ourselves. Hence, females tend to end up in therapy or in some kind of self-help class. We generally can admit when we need help much easier than a man, and we aren’t too proud to go get it. Plus, we are often more open minded and willing to try out unconventional methods, i.e. trying hypnotherapy or consulting the tarot. Sometimes our compassion can be our biggest asset, namely when we realize that what we are doing is mean, spiteful or crazy. We are more likely to get fed up with craziness earlier, and it tends to be women who break the cycles in crazy families, much more so than men.
I think that when we take a look at the latest douche bags in the public eye, we should remember that they didn’t commit the douchery on their own, but had some willing participants. And checking out Jesse James’ fling, Michelle McGee, I’m probably in the company of many when I say “Yeah, that chick is an equally large douche bag.” Let’s just remember that the bad apples reside in both genders!
27 thoughts on “The Evil Men Do (And Other Myths)”
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Oh, and I’d like to add, that most of the men I actually know are pretty amazing beings, with a high sense of integrity, a big heart and a lot of loyalty towards their partners. Hence, I wrote the tribute to good men about a week ago 🙂
Let me make something clear. The point I was trying to make was not ragging on either gender. I was trying to point out that males are getting bashed as cheaters and jerks, while women can a) be the same and b) are an important part when it comes to cheating males.
I was trying to point out that quite a few of these women knew perfectly well whom and what they got into and still chose to do it.
I think my overall point is that what we do or don’t do does not depend on our gender, but on our own personal values and view points.
Love and Light,
The article and most of the comments sound very vindictive. I think we are all doing the best we can in this life and criticism is a waste of time.
Ms. Carmen Honacker very nice with the name calling and male bashing article. I don’t see you name calling women who “knew perfectly well what they were doing, and simply didn’t have a problem sleeping with a married man, just as they didn’t have a problem trying to make money off of their affairs or even trying to blackmail the guys they slept with. When it comes to getting the person they want”. You use words like intelligent, smarter, cunning to describe women. How would you feel if I sum it up and say all women married or single are prostitutes because they are cunning enough to get paid for what they do.
Oh and the final part about “Yeah, that chick is an equally large ___.” don´t cut it.
Hi Nicol, Are you really loosing if you don’t sleep with the guy? Really, if that is all he is wanting from you how long can it really last. Yes, guys are this way, but myself, I won’t lower myself. If all they think about is themselves and what they are getting out of it, I simple will not do it any more. These are the people you need to run away from not walk, but run. You are worth more and you are a better person than these people. I know you are, I feel it.
I just spent 20 years with a man that I dearly loved, he still cheated on me with a horsefaced woman then moved in with her. “Because he loves her”….right! She built her happiness on breaking up a family, breaking a 6 year old heart and mind too. She will get what she has coming and for that matter so will he. I will not put up with this kind of behavior, it is wrong and there is no going back. He has lost his family for a little short warp of fun.
I wish all of you happiness and joy with your relationships. Nice article and well noted it takes 2 to do the dance, it cannot be done alone.
hi people, maybe this cheating thing isn’t so black and white.
there are so many reasons why this kind of thing happens. so many different circumstances.
good intentions, bad intentions, issues, loneliness, abusive relationships with responsiblities, are just a few.
some vibrations are drawn together and just can’t pull away.
i am not saying cheating is right, just that there are reasons people come into our lives. always lessons learned, hopefully for the better.
it’s not like this is something new. cheating has always been around.
sometimes it is ego, a way for someone to survive, or downright mean. anyway it goes, there is something very wrong in a relationship that the spouse cheats.
people change, there are personality defects, we are all human, all damaged in some way.
no one is perfect, everyone of us makes mistakes.
JUDGE NO ONE FOR THEIR CHOICES IN A RELATIONSHIP>
all morality is subjective to time, culture, religious belief, the social norm.
ultimately who knows what is between two individuals when they are alone. that is between them.
Well Carmen, Im a guy and Ive been cheated on in almost every relationship Ive been in and Ive Found out one thing from them That my female partners have all been abused or used or cheated on by guys from past relationships and everything Ive found out was after They Brook it off from me cause they got caught but I always seem to let myself Trust them and They treated me like They had been treated But I never Cheated in my life But Im finding Myself asking myself why But The same answer keeps coming up that if you truely want Love to happen you should never Cheat cause onesce you cheat you will always be labled as a cheater and I don,t care for cheaters of any kind they need not be in a relationship if they can,t committ and Ive also found that most the woman Ive been involved with only got with me cause they thought I was a Badboy type and onese they found out I was a good faithfull serious trusting guy who wassen,t abusesive they would cheat and leave me the last serious relationship was about seven year long and I had kid with her and after the kids where born I caught her cheating and it was because I put my trust ahead of my instinks So sencse then its been about nine or ten years and Ive been alone but I don,t want this I want a good and loving woman but Im not into the bar seen or do I trust myself in judgement of the trust of a woman cause of all my past choicess and its not that I can,t trust another woman but its I can,t trust my choicess in the woman im attracted to And I feel like im turning to the bad side of my charictor being that im a Gemini im split on what to do about it be a bad boy or a trusting sensitive guy what would you recomend I was born on june,11 1958 Thanks for your time truely Dave.
i don’t think all women are as rotten apples you think!!!!!!!!!!!!Guys should have more self control i guess
But i would also like to point out the comment made about lowest vibratory state. SO TRUE!! And that’s the problem. At times two people can be at a low pity themselves stage in their lives and enter into an affair. So completely agree on that one. I too have had a former partner stolen from me right in front of my very own eyes. Not happy. But karma did come around. And to be honest, ive seen karma come back and hit every person i know. But sadly thats not enough to take the pain away. But not all women are the same so i cant think theyre all bad. A lot of the time the other woman that wants to steal ur man has already been swept away by him (BEFORE KNOWING U EXIST), and is desperate to keep him once her heart has been given. The man will lie by saying oh my partner is very sick, or, Im not happy in the relationship, ill leave her – bullshit. It never happens. It leads the other woman on, and then everyone hates the other woman.
Um very one sided. I see what u are trying to say. But women get a bad reputation as well. It does not matter if the woman plays victim or cries. There is always someone out there happy to see u fall in the end, whether u are male or female. In fact as soon as a woman does a dirty deed she is outcast from the world. Yet the man does it and it’s ok? I was cut up by a guy i fell for. He was smoothe and sweet etc. I still cant get over it 7 yrs later. Once i fell in love with him i found out he had a long term girlfriend. There i was left in the cold having to picture this guy i was nuts about with another woman. I felt i was the victim here but no matter what i could have done, i was the bad guy. If i slept with him i wouldnt win, and if i let him go i dont win either. Either way im fucked because of him. And this guy was intuitive. Guys can be intuitive too, not just women. He played me and now i suffer. So don’t agree.
Tell me about it !!!! I have lost two men because of vindictive women… all I can say is its their loss to loose someone who wanted to share love and light over a dark manlipulitve ego hunting witch.
Yes, both came back many years later with their tail (penises) between their legs – sorry, their loss – they wanted slapper, they can keep her.
Carmen – witchy stuff does help, even if its just to protect yourself – if its done with the positive outcome in mind, compassion follows..
I am hungry now 😛
I see each one of us, in here, as being like ingredients in a good stew….or good spaghetti sauce…..all of us, coming together, make for a sure thing winning recipe!!!!
( this diet is killin’ me, can you tell?….I’m using food as an example) LOL
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Oh no, you don’t sound snotty, Maryanne!
Thanks for your response.
I’m sure you’re correct about the rejection portion. And I do agree with you about not the sharpest or the classiest-sorry, don’t mean to sound snotty either.
Gleefully cracking up–SO true!!! It takes two!
I DO think about karma! Now granted, I know plenty of people who do not subscribe to any idea of karma at all, but I do. I find that my life and reality is a perfect reflection of my values and my core. When I project my core, and hence, my highest intent, I start attracting people with a higher vibrational pull. Hence, I have made friends on our blog here, without ever having to clarify or explain my true intent or thoughts.
If I go out and spend time and space with a lower vibrational being (for the lack of better term), I will also start vibrating at a lower level. How it goes when two people are together who are both at their lowest is often apparent, when one looks at relationships between addicts or toxic people.
Something that some don’t like to ackowledge or think about ……is the KARMA involved with cheating…….Karma is universal law…..it knows no exceptions.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Carmen girl you are such a kick in the pants …..you have a way with words and we love you for that. Remember President Clinton? His fling saved the dress with the evidence on it.. tell me that was not a set up hehehe. She made lots of money on that one. It takes 2 to tango so women who dance with this type of man end up with their own set of karma to deal with. 4 yrs ago I met a very handsome lawyer from LA for lunch and the moment I laid eyes on him the words just flew out are you sure you are not married ? His answer was no…so we sat had a very nice lunch and again I said I feel a woman all over you. His reply I’m not married. Then he asked me if I would be interested in a Hotel room and I started laughing. My reply once I composed myself was it’s going to take more than lunch and a few words to get me. He continued to try for about 2 months then gave up and was off to others. Then fast forward 2 yrs later this guy contacts me out of the blue and I asked so how’s your wife and he responded she’s good. LOL I then said but I thought you were not married and he responded we were not when I met you just living together now we have a baby and are married. I told good luck and I feel very sad for his wife. He was trying to set up a date!!! I said well I said no 4 yrs ago what makes you think I would say yes now ???? You’re a challenge I don’t like the word no ….there you have ladies read and heed. Of course I am tuned in. Key is listen to your gut and you to will avoid getting caught up in this. Evil is in man and woman….just watch the temptation feel it first how does it feel if you get a scary feeling walk away…
Maryanne, I feel that they go public out of spite and revenge. What is one of the single most maddening experiences for us human beings? Rejection! If a guy strings a person along (even though she knew perfectly well that this guy is married) and then decides to dump you, not be with you, or worse, move on to another affair, they tend to feel rather pissed off. Plus, and I don’t want to be a hater, the women who usually end up in affairs with the famous guys, often are not the sharpest or most classiest tools in the shed.
Again, if you take a look at Michelle McGee, the words classy, sophisticated, educated and amazing do NOT come to mind!
Great article, I totally agree with your thoughts in regards to men do cheat with someone, but at least woman do evaluate their life and gain the clarity needed to grow emotionally as well as spiritually.
I tend to agree with Gina Rose here, you are a very gifted writer.
Blessings and Big Hugs!
Wow! What a fabulous article.
I must admit the portion that confuses me is why the other women GO Public, as it certainly is not beneficial to either party’s reputation. Does this fit into your phrase about an “unwillingness to let go and move on…” or is it possible they honestly thought the could lure the famous person out of their marriage or relationship and this is irritation. This is definitely not a criticism, as I am all in favor of each adult making their own decisions about their behavior and support their right to do so, but this particular behavior has always confused me. Just for me, I would rather that my “15 minutes of fame” be for something positive.
I agree and am delighted that you mentioned that we females are, for the most part “not too proud to get help” on any topic we may need help with. I do think that’s a bonus for us.
Thanks again for a wonderful article.
You can lurk any day, woman. I am glad you don’t think I am mean spirited or negative.
I bought a witch pen yesterday in a witch store I found here in Hollywood. I thought of you, as I was buying love candles and an “attract love” charm bag for my friend, who attracts predominantly douche bags.
I brought my witchy pen to the office. One must have witchy items around, so one feels more at ease, haha.
I’m turning into a devout ” lurker ” at your site….. LOL…..I don’t think I’m allowed to post at your site, not sure……but your site is beautiful and I enjoy reading the articles…..you really are a gifted writer.
you go girl!
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
Ps…..for anybody else reading this and wondering…..yes, Gina does have a life, usually, when it’s not raining so much, every…. single…. day!!!!! LOL
…. but I would read Carmens articles rain or shine !
And again it is all about us getting what we feel we deserve. But then, I have a strange and bizarre moral compass, that tends to point straight due North. I would find it hypocritical to go after the man of another woman, especially since I have been cheated on and know how that feels.
Yes, Yes, Yes,…….as usual …..you hit the target with deadly accuracy in your articles…. it’s all true.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500
You know I never judge my clients, as it’s not my job or place to do so….but I always encourage a person to leave the unhealthy marriage, ( if it can’t be repaired ) FIRST….before leaping into another relationship, or into cheating. It’s so much better to leave a marriage the right way….the healthy way.
Blessed Be )O(
Gina Rose ext.9500