Wow. We live in a kinda speedy society. So, I need to be honest here. Tell the truth and shame the devil … in my wild youth nothing moved quick enough for me. But I am older and hopefully wiser, definitely better looking! So many clients of mine are sweating the speed. Why?
Fear. Fear of not getting. Fear of losing. When we desire an outcome that we don’t receive in our own good time, we react with hate and lust. Tsk, tsk. Hate at not getting our own way. Lust at well … lust. There begins our suffering. Bummer. Suffering is icky.
Seriously, don’t you think if your love-bunny was ready they would have taken that “next step?” If for nothing else than to shut us up. Honor their process. Allow their healing. Compassion is not the same as sympathy. We need compassion in our romantic relationships. Play nice. How would you feel if your love-bunny was pushing you into a speed you weren’t ready for?
In the clinging comes the suffering. The Yoga Sutras II-16 states, “Pain that has not yet come is avoidable.” So we cling. Then we lust. Then we hate. Then our hate ultimately destroys what we think we love. Then we suffer. As I have already pointed out, suffering is icky. Love is patient and kind.
I strongly suggest we not bully our love-bunny into getting our own way. The illusion is shattering. We are not giving pure love. We are loving based on expectations. How unfair. Remember, play nice.