When Should You Take Control?
It’s often difficult to understand the relationships we are in, and this article will specifically address a major source of confusion and stress for women regarding the behavior of men. When men send mixed signals, run hot and cold or give their women the silent treatment it can be both perplexing and painful. Nothing new there; it is age-old. However, in hopes of gaining a deeper insight into male/female relationships, we must first accept something about men: They are not always fully present. Naturally, this does not apply to all men. But to those whom this does apply, here is the reason why:
Men are Afraid
Men wear many masks and are taught to be many things—but fearful is not one of them. Yet they are. It’s actually not more complicated than that. That’s all there is to it. Here is a list of some of the common fears men have and they’re probably the reason why they send mixed signals, run hot and cold and give their women the silent treatment:
1. Men are afraid of themselves and the future. This mask usually looks like ego, pride and control.
2. Men are afraid that they cannot keep the promises they make. This can look like apathy, coy behavior and silence. Where is the commitment, you wonder? Well, he might not be trusting himself.
3. Men are afraid of money and/or the lack thereof. Does he take financial risks? Does he tend to hoard?
4. Men are afraid they will repeat a past experience that was not pleasant or healthy. This will manifest as holding back and sabotaging.
5. Men are afraid they are not seen as strong. That is why they put on the tough-guy act.
6. Men are afraid of what women think of them. Does he try to show off a lot?
7. Men are afraid of their own thoughts and feelings. Often this manifests as badly timed attempts at humor.
8. Men are afraid of conflict. Does he get quiet or disappear in order to avoid fighting.
9. Men are afraid they cannot satisfy in bed. Does he flirt with others or turn away from you in bed? This can also look like mistrust. Does he play the blame game?
10. Men are afraid to be alone. This has him being clingy, needy and controlling.
So how can you handle a man’s fears and insecurities? How can you help your relationship grow? You strengths can strengthen the relationship. You need to know who you really are and you also need to be self-aware. If you change who you are, the man you’re with will adapt and grow too! Answer these 10 questions to strengthen your inner vision:
1. Are you confidant?
2. Do you walk your talk?
3. Do you trust in your ability to create prosperity?
4. Have you let go of the past?
5. Do you hide from people?
6. Do you spend too much time worrying about what others think?
7. Do you spend enough time balancing your life?
8. Do you bottle things up?
9. Are you comfortable with how you look?
10. Do you take enough time for yourself?
From here on, identify yourself as a confident and empowered person, if you have not already done so. Ask Spirit to remind you when you forget. Ask Spirit to guide you to recognize if your own fear-based masks are playing a role. A true alignment with your own power will project into the relationship and make a major difference in how things go. If it doesn’t, he simply might not be ready for you.
When you rise above your fears, so will he. If he is incapable, you will find someone else who reflects where you are on your journey, because you’re now living true to yourself and being who you’re meant to be.