Should You Take That Loser Back?
Will it last? I’ll try to make it short. There’s a lot to this, but here goes. I was with my fiancee for 11 years. He met a girl at work and within five months left me and got engaged to her. She’s pregnant now, and they just got married in May. He did tell me once that he knew she lies to him, but that was OK, plus she was living with her boyfriend at the time and on probation for a drug arrest. I had no clue about this, and I started working with him when this all started and he only met her two weeks before I started. What makes someone do this?
Please tell me that you are not asking me in all seriousness if this douche will be back! I have rarely seen more evidence for complete douchebaggery as the one you are describing here. Alas, I digress.
First of all, there must have been signs in the 11 years you were with him that he is either weak, has low self-esteem or, on the flip side, is extremely selfish, because these traits are the only thing that would make someone do what he did to you. This truly sounds like something straight out of a movie. So what should you do?
Get away from him as far as you can! Quit the job and find a new one, move, change your number or do whatever else it takes to get rid of him. This guy doesn’t deserve any more energy, time or attention from you. My gut also tells me that he will be back, because I don’t see how his current “marriage” will work. Why? Because this girl apparently had no problem stealing another woman’s man and getting pregnant by him, while she’s still living with someone else. Chances are, she might pull the same on him, once he doesn’t work out. Remember, certain things show the true character of a person, and these two clearly showed that they are made for each other.
“Letting go brings you into balance, aligning you with your true self. It is the most natural experience on earth to let go of what is hurting you. Letting go frees your mind of the attachment, thereby filling you with peace.” – Faith ext. 9608
Even if the guy came crawling back on his knees to me, I wouldn’t take him back. I can forgive a one-time thing, but this goes way past that and takes the cake. All great relationships require a certain foundation. The minimum requirements are trust, honesty and respect. He has not exhibited any of them. If he has no problem dumping you that quickly and moving on with another like that, he might do it again.
So, realize that it may have been good while it lasted, but now it’s time to find a hero, not a zero. Go out with friends, build your own circle of people you can talk to and hang with, and take care of yourself. But above all, do not keep in contact with him. Heck, wish him well, but then release him. Remember that what goes around always comes around, and people get what they deserve, good or bad, in the end.
Good luck to you and good riddance. You deserve so much better!
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