Slow Down for Love

How to Truly Value and Cherish Your Relationships

“Watch what people do, not what they say.” My best friend’s boyfriend told her this was the best dating advice he had for women dating men.

Basically, it means that when it comes to dating, it is best to take it slow and see how someone treats you. Do they follow through on what they say they are going to do? Even the little things count, because how you do anything is how you do everything. Do they show up on time? Do they treat you well? Do they make promises they don’t or can’t keep? Many broken hearts could be averted if we all took relationships a little slower and really valued the people who treat us well. They are worth their weight in gold.

A dashing prince or princess may look and feel wonderful for awhile, but in the end, the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for others is to be there for them, love them, mean what you say and say what you mean. Learn to listen to the little voice within that may be telling you Be careful with this one.” or “Watch what they do, not what they say.” so you can say “No, thank you.” if they don’t measure up. Saying no to bad treatment means that you are learning to love yourself more and that is the most important thing of all.

This advice has shaped my life tremendously, as I have learned to listen to the little warning signs I might see or feel about a person from the start, and I have learned to let them go (even potential friends or acquaintances) if I feel they are not a match for me. I have truly learned to value someone who keeps their word and who shows up when they say they are going to show up, who treats me with kindness and compassion and love and who shows me with their actions they value me. It also shows me that person values themselves and I want people like that in my life.

It feels so good to give to people and have them give back. It feels good to know I am safe with them. It feels good to know that I can trust them. It has helped me to not hold onto someone hoping and wishing they would change when deep inside I know they probably won’t. I have learned to sort out the cream of the crop so much quicker and easier now, and I have learned to value myself so much more by not allowing myself to have anyone in my “inner circle” who is flaky or doesn’t follow through on their word. It feels good to love and be loved back and it feels good to know that this little rule can be so powerful, in the dating arena, and also in all of my relationships.

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