Independent People Need These Relationship Tips
Independence and love can be a great mix. In fact, there are many things about being or dating an independent person that can really benefit any relationship. However, this independence can sometimes be misdirected and/or misinterpreted. But good relationships are still possible. Here are some relationship tips for independent people.
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Afraid of Commitment?
Some people labeled as “independent” are actually afraid of commitment, even though they may also recognize their need for friendship, love and intimacy. You should know that for many of us there is strength in giving up some of that independence in exchange for the trust, commitment and love of another person. But before you can realize this potential you may need to adjust the way you’ve become used to doing things a little bit.
Attention is a Relationship Builder/Saver
New relationships require a lot of care and attention. So much, in fact, that many independent people may start to feel smothered and will seek time away by themselves. To them it is just time to replenish their energy reserves, but to their partner it may signal that they are pulling away or losing respect for them. Independent people need time alone, but they may also need to deal with a little discomfort in order to build the trust, security and commitment necessary to take a relationship to the next level.
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Decide if You Are Commitment Material
Before you give a relationship your full attention you need to answer one question: Are you commitment (marriage) material? You might say, “Well, I don’t know. I suppose I might be if the right person came along.” That may seem like a fair answer, but the reality is that independent people have to make their intentions known, or they could be at risk for being labeled as “not suitable for commitment.” An independent lifestyle can be a red flag for some people, but it can be less so if you express your intentions before any misinterpretation can set in.
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Let Yourself Be Vulnerable
Independent people can do just about anything on their own, and most worthy partners will respect that. But one of the great things about being in a partnership is being able to help each other every now and then. It allows us to feel good about ourselves and feel needed in the relationship. One of the biggest reasons why men and women lose interest in a relationship is because they no longer feel loved, respected, trusted or appreciated. Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness in a good relationship; It is a sign of trust and the openness to love and be loved.
Beware of Becoming too Picky
You’re independent, you’ve worked hard and you’re looking for the same qualities in a partner. Independent people have very high standards and there is no doubt about that. That is part of who they are. However, if your standards remain too high, you will likely never find anyone worthy of your company, besides yourself. Part of what makes a relationship successful is finding strengths within your partner to admire. You have control over how you choose to interpret them, and according to research, wearing rose-colored glasses on occasion does more good than harm when it comes to a happily ever after.
Take Turns Leading the Relationship
In any relationship it is usually the most independent (or less interested) person who holds all the cards. They call all the shots, make all the decisions and have the ability to control the relationship. Just be aware that alpha and beta relationships can get along fine when one person is leading the partnership, but they do even better when they both get a turn at the wheel.
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Opposites Don’t Always Attract the Best Sex
What do successful, powerful and independent people truly crave in the bedroom? According to research, they want to be dominated, desired and lusted after. In other words, when it comes to good sex, two alphas may be the recipe to a very happy ending. There are certainly some advantages to being in a relationship with another strong, independent person, so don’t let your fear of losing control of the reins interfere with taking this type of partnership for a trial spin.
5 thoughts on “Relationship Tips for Independent People”
Thank you for the article. It was a reflection of my position as the “independent one” in my relationship. My boyfriend is the best man in the world and treats me like a queen, but at times, I do love being alone to “replenish my energy”, as you perfectly described and I’ve hurt him many times in the way I go about it. I’m fully commited to him and see my life with him, but I’ve been told that I don’t always vocalize it and it can make him insecure in where we stand- I’m learning that it’s okay to be vulnerable, you just need to. It does take some work but when you love someone, you try to see things in their perspective and although it can be silly or completely false what they’re assuming, you change it. I wish you all the best with your independent lover. Don’t give up on us, we’re actually the biggest romantics deep down inside.
gemini6 , I agree paper is just paper… There are times where someone needs the legal marriage status for insurance coverage or taxes… or even loans but, I think being independent is a better fit for a gem if financially works. A life partner seems not too much to ask for but, only a lucky few ever find someone that grows with them… When your young and you fall in love , you think you want to be in it with this person for ever and it is an awesome thing…….The reality is the younger you are, the more you grow and change so at 22 you may be perfect for each other and 42 you may not be… Exceptions yes but, most people these days dont give it a chance to play out beyond the chemical attraction before the marry… The chemical attraction last about 4 years… then, all the negative things out about your partner are blocked out by your brain… That’s when you see who you are really with and is this you forever ? Look at all the young recently divorced parents with a 3 to 6 year old child. The theory is, the brain blocks the negative things to you about a person to insure a better chance of reproducing ….It kind of wild … I think the right person is out there for a life long relationship but It takes time to sift through the rubble and muddy water. Society and buying into the preconceived is the the main problem with most relationships …. After a year of dating the same person you will start to hear from from girl friends , moms, aunts, and just about everyone that knows you , (when you 2 getting married? ) that gets driven into your mind until you are brain washed on thinking that’s what you have to do or you are not conforming… Every time i hear someone say that to a young couple now i cringe. Oh , it’s all in fun they say when i call them on it…. Yes but, they come into contact with someone and hear it everyday and have to give them a hee hawing around kinda answer feeling kinda stupid or they could actually have a good answer and feel better about themselves. They could say that is something personal between us and I hope you will respect our privacy on the matter….. but, they seem to gravitate to setting a date to marry because , that makes everyone happy !
Hi Eric, I was in a relationship with the king of independence for three years. It makes for an interesting journey but with a sad ending. Freedom cannot be replaced by relationship, it necessitate too much change for them to remain fulfill and happy. You can only imagine what is expected from the significant other.
Your article is very interesting and states some very crucial truth…
Seems to me that gemini6 is suffering from hurts that repeat themselve’s . Sorry to hear .
There are good people out there, it is just we have to be resilient and hopeful. 🙂
Hi! Eric, thanks for your article. I agree with some but not all. As for my experience these
days it is very hard to find a life partner. I am not looking for marriage for I feel and if u look it up, is just binds u financially. You can commit to anyone either single or married u don’t need a piece of paper. As far as having high standards, all I am looking for is a good person who loves me and take me for whom I am and who is stable and wants to enjoy the rest of our lives together. All I come across is men who want a meal ticket, lie and cheat, so I don’t think its wrong to want these things and protect yourself. I am so tired of all this, so right now
I have decided to concentrate on me and dating is in the back all the way back burner.