Say Yes With No Regrets!
Have you ever berated yourself for having said yes again when you really wanted to say no? Have you ever regretted saying yes because you intuitively knew you were going against your gut? Have you ever vowed it would NEVER happen again?
According to researcher Alison Armstrong, women have a tendency to say yes in order to please their spouses, partners and boyfriends. It appears to be a leftover behavior from our ancestors, when pleasing mates would equal survival. Nowadays, our survival is usually no longer connected to saying yes when we really want to say no. Here are four questions to ask yourself the next time you’re in a situation where you’re not sure if yes is really your answer:
What are My Core Values?
As yourself why you’re thinking of saying yes. Ask yourself to think about the benefits to saying yes. If you’re not quite sure of the answers to these questions, take some time to assess your values. Roy Disney said, “It’s not hard to make a decision when you know what your values are.” Look at the reasons why you would say yes and get honest with yourself.
Is This the Best Use of My Time?
Is agreeing to this task really the best use of your time? What else could you be doing that would be more important? Sometimes we intentionally (or unintentionally) distract ourselves from tasks and responsibilities that are really important for us to accomplish. Assess what your true motivation behind saying yes really is and then decide whether you really want to do it.
What Really Happens if I Say No?
What could/would happen if you said no? Will the world end? Will they dump you? Maybe saying no is really just a slight inconvenience. Be as objective as possible. Saying no can take courage and confidence. Don’t associate it with fear and loss.
Do I Just Want to Please Them?
Does saying yes align with your core values, or are you just trying to please someone else? Again, research indicated that women often say yes because they are trying to please another person. Saying yes shouldn’t be an automatic response for you or anyone else. Things things through first.
In Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, Polonius says, “To thine own self be true.” That’s great advice to consider before saying yes to anyone. Remember to ask these four questions the next time someone asks you to commit to something, whether it be marriage or lunch at a restaurant that serves nothing you like. If you take the time to consider your wants, desires and values, you will feel better physically, mentally and spiritually.