Stop Failing “Relationships 101”
Love is the thing we are always either in, out of, looking for, or confused by. Do you find yourself in one failed relationship after another and you don’t know why love never works for you? If you have a question about love, you’d better give Psychic Venus ext. 9463 a call. After all, she is named after the Goddess of Love.
Venus says, “Relationships are a subject in the school of life. If you don’t pass the subject, you’re going to keep taking it again and again.” You know what not passing feels like. It feels like all your girlfriends are married with babies and you’re alone at the local bar on a Saturday night, thinking the guy dressed head-to-toe in acid-washed denim who keeps trying to smell your hair has good romantic potential. Why do you keep coming back to this bar every time a relationship fails? It’s because you make the same mistake over and over again, and that mistake is not learning the lessons of the failed relationship that just ended.
You were with someone you’re not compatible with. You compromised who you are, what you need, and what you believe in just to get someone else to love you. If acid-washed denim dude is starting to look good to you, let’s hit the pause button and get back to basics. Need to get back to the romantic basics? Call Psychic Venus for a love intervention.
It starts with a list. Get your pen and paper ready. In section one, you’ll list the attributes your future partner must have—the deal makers. In section two, you will list the attributes your future partner cannot have—the deal breakers. In the third section, you’ll list the traits you’d be willing to compromise on—i.e., you don’t care whether your partner has these traits or not. Be honest! Need a few ideas? Here’s my top five for each section (The traits in green are the traits my husband, Brandon, possesses):
1. Able to live within his means/keep a job
2. A (dark) sense of humor
3. Liberal, politically
4. Willing to split household chores
5. Not religious
1. Kid(s) from a previous relationship
2. A criminal record or drug/alcohol abuse
3. Low sex drive/lazy/not active
5. Negative outlook on life
3. Taste in movies/music different from mine
4. Doesn’t like to read
5. Close with family or not
As you can see, my husband, Brandon, meets every one of my deal makers, none of my deal breakers, and a majority of the qualities I was willing to compromise on. Now take some time and work on your own list. It doesn’t matter how long or short it is. What matters is that you mean everything you include on it and you apply it to every potential partner you meet. You should know what you like, what turns you on, and what traits you admire. Once you have the list, adhere to it in order to avoid another temporary, failed romance. Psychic Venus says, “You can’t have a love relationship not based in reality.” In order to have a relationship based in reality, you have to look at yourself realistically. You have to know who you are. Who are you? Venus knows.
Your relationships keep failing because you don’t have a list, and if you did have one before, the things you listed on it weren’t really significant to you, were too superficial, or you didn’t choose mates based on anything you actually listed. Your list is your picture of lasting love, so take it seriously. It goes beyond eye color, a certain height, or a mustache.
Now memorize your lasting love. Make several copies of this list. Keep a copy in your purse or wallet. Keep a copy in your desk at work. Keep a copy under your pillow and sleep on it at night. Give a copy to your best friend so they know who you are looking for and will keep an eye out for you. Always have a copy nearby to remind yourself what lasting love means to you. Psychic Venus points out that “We aren’t supposed to be successful in every romantic relationship we have.” I agree with her, but I would add that we also don’t have to continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Venus says you just “have to do the homework, and the homework is you.” Take her advice, because I don’t want to see you in my classroom again. Psychic Venus ext. 9463 has even more tools to guide you through the school of romantic life. Homework time is only a phone call away!
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