I have been in a relationship for a few years now. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and I a son. His inability to work right now due to a car accident has affected his ability to be independent. I have never been the type of person to walk away when times get tough but at the same time, I feel unappreciated. Everyone has obstacles to battle and sometimes I feel as though I’m not appreciated or given the time and attention I deserve. He says he loves me and pictures life with me and my son, once his life is stable. But nothing will change if you don’t take the steps, no matter how small the change. My question is: am I being too hard or is this relationship worth hanging on to, as I do love him and know he loves me??
Psychic Kallista ext. 9623 responds:
You are right, you do love each other, and that makes it worth the wait and worth hanging in there with this relationship. This man of yours is struggling with feeling vulnerable due to his current lack of independence and inability to work, because these things have hit him right in his pride. But that doesn’t mean he gets to take his frustrations out on you. There are times he’s made you feel very much alone and on your own, and that is not working for you at all.
Please know there’s hope. Even if you’ve already tried to talk to him, try again. It can help to write down all the points you need to address before you have your next appointed talk. Include things you want him to do that he can act on. Be sure to preface your next discussion by asking him to please just let you say what you need to say, and afterward you want to hear his response. It would be good to come from the perspective of your feelings. It would be helpful to start by praising him for something he does that pleases you, then describing what he does that hurts you.
For example, you can begin by saying you love how he makes you feel like he loves you and your son by planning your future together, but it hurts you when he doesn’t acknowledge your efforts to help him get through this difficult time, or give you the time, attention, and appreciation you deserve. By approaching the conversation this way, he’ll be better able to hear what you have to say instead of going straight into self-defense.
He will listen to you, and you will see him make more of an effort to support you emotionally. This will be the start of a great deal of improvement between you. You’ll be glad if you stick this out, because the two of you have something quite special that could last a lifetime.
Wishing you every good thing always and in all ways,
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