Prince Charming is Dead

A Quest for Liberation

Are you are asking yourself (and others) when will the man you are going to marry appear? Well, why are you waiting for him? It’s time to take the bull by the horns if you are serious about meeting someone you could spend the rest of your life with. It’s going to take some work and you may have to broaden your ideals. After all, Prince Charming (a generic prince of many tales, is he) didn’t collect Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, or other “damsels in distress” from their couches—or rescue them from in front of their laptops.

Positively, these kinds of fairy tales possess a common thread for all the leading ladies: A quest for liberation. However, more often than not, we miss this very significant main idea and instead get sucked into a crazy place when it comes to expectations of the men in our life, or the one we would like to have. The prince in these stories really just happened to be a secondary bonus to the purpose of the quest, though the idealistic nature we choose to highlight nonetheless embeds longstanding and unrealistic expectations in the minds of women as to the “Fairy tale Relationship.”

Other, more modern, sources like the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime Movie Network have further aided and abetted an unrealistic romantic ideal in which many women measure all romances against. In that vein, we are setting ourselves up for horrible disappointments should we buy into any of these false ideals of romance; one might just begin reading romance novels as a substitute for a real relationship! While love may come into our lives unexpectedly, it does not do so while we stagnate, pine, romanticize and do nothing. We have a choice in what our love life looks like, what it feels like and whether or not we are going to have it at all.

“The modern fairy tale ending is the reverse of the traditional one: A woman does not wait for Prince Charming to bring her happiness; she lives happily ever after only by refusing to wait for him—or by actually rejecting him. It is those who persist in hoping for a Prince Charming who are setting themselves up for disillusionment and unhappiness.” – Susan Faludi

Some women know they are dating someone just to pass time until the “right one” comes along. Other women look back at a lost love, think they made a mistake and feel like “the one” is forever lost, and others still sit idly by waiting for their “soulmate” to be delivered by destiny. One more category exists—the women who actively pursue a realistic version of Prince Charming. They usually find him.

5 Things to Know About the Real “Prince Charming”

1. He doesn’t fit into one mold. He represents something different to every “damsel in distress,” or woman on a “quest for liberation,” if you prefer.

2. Though he may find you, chances are it won’t be in this lifetime if you cloister yourself away and limit your opportunities for him to come into your life.

3. Assuming you are making yourself available to him to find you, he is going to arrive as a man who most likely will not fit a romanticized cookie-cutter ideal of what a husband or partner “should” be. Stay grounded in your expectations. Don’t allow yourself confining, preconceived notions about what he’s going to be like or how it’s going to happen. Love doesn’t work according to our plans.

4. He is not going to look perfect, behave perfectly, wait on you hand and foot, be rich through inheritance and live in a castle. You are a real woman and he will be a real man, and none of us are perfect or have all “A-list” qualities. Life is not a fairy tale, so realistic expectations of a husband or partner are imperative if you are ever going have one (and keep one). Don’t hold out forever for that “perfect” guy, because he doesn’t exist.

5. Last, but not least, your real-life, living, breathing Prince Charming will love you, and you will love him, and you will have your share of problems. However, you will work through them and stick it out together.

The End.

3 thoughts on “Prince Charming is Dead

  1. Steve Garwood

    I find myself alone on my whole journey in this Epic I call being live. I guess while slaying my dragons I forgot about love and women…I see one and am reminded on how much I love them. I dislike males. On a few occasions we slayed dragons toghether. I guarded Lucifer in a huge basketball game in 1997. Celebacy sucks. Pornography is even worse. I am not royalty but I am in recovery from meeting a man who screamed, “I’M 39 FOR THE 14TH TIME” when he walked into my convienience store. I know schizophrenia is a full time job, and a huge hang up. Really though I have a diagnosis that is new in the 1990s – “Limerence”. I suffer from loving a girl So much and she never called me on the phone even. I got over it. And I evolved from the kid that spoke until asked how old I was and I pointed into a raging ventriloquist who played Dev basketball. And my head exploded twice in 1998. I lived. A third was the nuke blast in my skull on the night of Chinese New Year 1/21/2007. And my SoulTrain Station started on every channel in Oct 2007. No dates since 9/11/2006 even. The SmoKing. A frog croaked my last name on WDFN Detroit sports radio. I recorded the sample backwards and it croaks my first and last name. One of 40 samples of my name I taped of popular songs of many genres. Truely, I am Homey-o-say-pen. Steve Garwood

  2. Cat

    Nicely done article, maybe more towards today’s woman than my generation (married 1975, divorced 23 years). First, I wonder if we need to re-think those fat, expensive Cinderella bridal magazines…the fluffy, wear-once, four digit cost gowns that exist in Disney’s films. I always felt guys kind of seemed awkward in these bodacious wedding shows as though in their black tux, the story was not about them or “us” but her. Way too much money for a one day show…perhaps better put towards a charming honeymoon or a down payment on a place to set up? Anyway, size and cost of now-you’ve-nailed-the-prince event seems to signify women still cling to a fairy tale fellow, life, romance. Which I agree does not exist. Just because we dress a thing up and call it a prize does not make it one (same goes for us gals and the guys who get stuck with some of us!). Personally, I have torn up and tossed my long ago list of qualities I sought in a fellow (let alone the husband word). Dated many, many varied fellows (obviously not to fruition). I believe I have followed your ideas very closely over the course of 20 years and, sadly, no prince, charming or otherwise. Maybe not all of us are destined for princess roll in this life. There are so many great men–unattached–and delighted to keep it so. Might have to resort to our Disney antics to coax him into the idea that girls are kinda nice, he might actually benefit from that form of partnership. Ouch, yep, she’s jaded. For over 10 years now I have met only men NOT interested in women long-term. Maybe our entire theory of mating has become outdated? Maybe generations now will accept each other on equal terms, as friends but not partners? Who knows. Can’t wait to see how the thirty-somethings evolve with the prince and princess theories. Hoping “love” is not extinct…or marriage come to that. But I WOULD love to see the bridal industry more realistic and less fairytale. Makes women look foolish and materialistic? Perhaps? Go ahead, bombard me with cynical rebuttals!!! Fluffy brides of the world, unite.


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