It’s that “Oh My God!” feeling. You see him and know, instantly, that he’s the one. When you try to talk with him the words come out all wrong, but you get lost in his smile. There are tingles all over and you know you’re falling in love.
Or maybe it starts with you just wanting her to be your pal. You have so much in common. You go to parties and movies together or with friends. You can talk about anything. And then something happens. Maybe the light hits her in a certain way. Maybe it’s her scent. You didn’t plan it, but you realize that you don’t want her to be a pal. You’re falling in love.
It’s all wonderful for a while. And then it’s not. You end up with a broken heart. “Never again!” you vow. Except it does happen, again and again.
Love is a good thing. Love is great for our bodies, minds, and spirits. But something is wrong with the way you’ve been approaching love. That’s why you fall in love, repeatedly, only to get hurt.
It’s not your fault! We’re not trained in love. As a result, we fall into patterns of falling in and out of love. Something in those patterns makes us feel good. In order to find real love we need to discover what they are and break out of them. There are many patterns, each with their own reasons, but two really stand out.
The first reason is NRE: New Relationship Energy. When you’re falling in love there is an incredible feeling, a rush of endorphins and other hormones that make you feel incredible. But after a short time, the newness wears off and seeing him or her doesn’t cause that same flow of hormones and energy.
But here’s something you may not know: you can get that blast of NRE any time you want! Here’s how:
1) Find a comfortable position, sitting or laying down. Take a few slow, deep breaths and just let all tension flow from your body as you deeply relax.
2) Next, imagine your ultimate, perfect, idealized boyfriend or girlfriend walking through the door. See what you imagine you would see. Feel what you would feel. Hear what you would hear.
3) Now make those sensations even more intense. In your mind make the colors brighter, the sounds crisper, the feelings more sensationally fantastic!
4) Allow yourself to feel the energy and hormones flow. You can experience this any time you have a free moment. When you’re ready to end the experience take a few relaxing, deep breaths, and let the afterglow last or fade, your choice.
The second reason is because you’re looking for…something. If you think about this on a conscious level you may think it is the love of a particular person. You may think what you’re looking for is to love and be loved. But for most people it’s usually far more than that. To discover what it is, do this:
1) Get into a comfortable position and take a few deep, relaxing breaths.
2) Ask yourself, “If I have the love of someone I can love, what will I have?” Go with your first feelings. It may be something like love, completeness, peace, or wholeness. There are no wrong answers.
3) Using your own word or words based on what you think you will have from the question above, ask yourself, “When I have [that thing] fully and completely, what will I have?” When you get an answer, repeat this process (it will become more difficult to come up with answers) until you keep repeating whatever it is you really want. That is what you actually want, but you’ve replaced it with having someone to love and who will love you.
4) Once you know what you really want, you’ll see that a partner won’t give it to you. Rather, you can start plannng to truly achieve that inner goal.
Once you are able to manifest the feelings of NRE and know your core desire in life, you won’t be looking for either in another person. That will leave you free to find the loving partner (or partners!) you deserve.
Donald Michael Kraig graduated from UCLA with a degree in philosophy, and has become a certified hypnotherapist and Master NLP practitioner. His book, Modern Magick, is the most popular step-by-step course in real magick ever published.