Men First to Profess Love in Relationships

It’s often assumed that women are the romantic gender—that they’re the ones who are truly looking for love, and that men are only looking for sex. It’s also assumed that admissions of love are often something that are almost forced out of men by women, and certainly hard-won. However, a new study suggests the opposite: that in fact, men are often the first to utter the momentous three words in relationships.

The Star reports:

Sometimes it comes out in a rush. Other times it becomes a game of chicken. Regardless, the first spoken “I love you” is a relationship milestone.

Josh Ackerman, a psychologist who teaches at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, set out to study these early declarations of devotion. According to his research, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64 per cent of people think the woman in a relationship usually says “I love you” first.

“We are constantly bombarded by this idea that love is about women, in a sense,” Ackerman says. “Women are the more emotional ones, and men hide their feelings. But that doesn’t necessarily appear to be the case.”

When his team interviewed 205 straight men and women about their past and current relationships, they found men were more likely to have said “I love you” first.

What do you think—are women actually more afraid of love than men? And are men actually more sentimental at heart than women?

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8 thoughts on “Men First to Profess Love in Relationships

  1. Auth

    Whenever I hear this it takes me back to working ousdtie last winter in well below freezing weather usually at night with the frost setting inI used play this to keep myself moving during my break in my car so I didn’t seize up once I went back actually felt better then hearing it while being drenched in sweat in a club

  2. masami

    I think it´s because we women always expect from men to say “I love you” first, so we can have an idea of what’s on his mind about you. As it is a lot easier that women could (really) fall in love, if a man say so, means that the goal has been achieved:)

  3. Rickey, Midpines,Ca.

    love is express many different ways, the little things you do for each other thru any relationship the things you say to turn that monent into something specialy, any body can say I love you and not mean a word of it. Having compassion and consideration for that person,and the words I love will follow.

  4. Pingback: How to Politely Reject Parenting Advice From Your In-Laws | California Psychics Blog

  5. Steve Crawford

    I think often times it is a game of chicken, and i don’t really think thats a good thing – it tends to make the recipient think their beloved is weak because he or she professed their love for them first, it also imbues the recipient of the sentiment with a false sence of empowerment ( leverage ). And then theres the fact that many women do not want to scare their man off with that admonishment – they are afraid THEY will be viewed as weak, which is somewhat understandable but if you don’t take the intiative – ya could both end up regretting it !

  6. Kathy

    I (try to) wait for a man to say “I love you” first, because I don’t think men will say it outside the bedroom unless they really mean it. I’m afraid that if I say it first, I’ll get used. I want to know that he has “given himself” (not physically) to me, and in my current relationship, he’s made it known that he wants to get me in bed, but that’s not translating into “I love you.” Maybe it should, but it doesn’t. I don’t want to end up in bed with someone for whom I am not his “#1.” He has already won me, but I’m not saying it until I feel secure about him, and his talking about how he wants to pick me up and take me into the bedroom just isn’t what I want to hear. At the same time, it could be a difference of communication. I did try to say “I love you” once, but couldn’t. He said not to worry because he could tell how I feel by the way I hold him and kiss him. Maybe I should “get a clue” by the fact he respects me and doesn’t force himself on me.

  7. Gina Rose ext.9500Gina Rose ext.9500

    As I recall and think back……I would have to say that the majority, if not all, of the men in my life said the words ” I love you ” first, ( without any pressure from me ).

    …..interesting article……but, Krishna Bill, your articles usually are very interesting!

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500


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