With the release of the book and now the film version of He’s Just Not That into You what we’ve learned is that if someone is not calling, emailing, marrying or even sleeping with you, then they may just not be that into you. But what if you’re on the other side of the equation and you’re just not into them – yet not admitting it to yourself?
What comes next, knowing what you think you know?
Once you let yourself believe that you may not be that into your current love, revel in the fact that it’s your choice to stay or go. In doing so, you’re no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead, evaluate your own intentions and feelings – then act on them. In the quest to find the perfect relationship, we may be ignoring our own needs. Do you give into your deepest desires or torture yourself for the lack of them? Now is the time to shift your mindset away from what they want, and onto what you need.
Believe your gut
Go with your gut – we have all heard this time and time again. That’s because it’s true. Do yourself a favor by stopping the cycle before it progresses too far. Then, don’t second guess yourself once you’ve taken the leap. If you sense that it just isn’t for you, take satisfaction in the fact that you likely know yourself better than anybody. Why give the power of your own destiny over to somebody else? Life is all about choices. Why not choose yourself this time.
Take comfort in the fact that there will be others. Just because you don’t happen to be into this one person, it doesn’t mean that either of you aren’t worthy of finding someone else (there are millions of people on the planet searching for a good match). Save them – and yourself – from the uncomfortable situation of staying with someone that you don’t really want to be with. Clarity can be enlightening… for both of you!
Trust that even though you walk away in this one instance, it in no way means that you are walking away from the potential of meeting someone else. On the contrary! You are leaving yourself open to meet someone who can actually fulfill your dreams. If you settle for less that’s exactly what you might end up with, but if you’re up for the challenge why not continue the quest to find someone that you are into. Patience yields payoff.
What not to do
We have all, at one time or another been on the bad end of a teetering date or relationship. Now, remember that feeling. Don’t hang on to someone that you’re just not into, merely to have a person to fill your time with while you wait for someone better. You’ll feel like a heel and they’ll feel like a stomped on sole. Also, don’t second guess yourself. Once you pick it, stick it. Believe that you knew what you were doing when you chose to move on.
Lastly, exit with grace
Remember that you were once on the receiving end of a breakup or someone else’s breakdown. Recall what it felt like when you were treated with respect as opposed to something not nearly as pleasant. Feel confident in your choice, but communicate it with care. Nothing can be gained by highlighting why they weren’t right for you. Let them remember you for the best person that you can be. Who wouldn’t be into that?
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