Before you give a shout out to the universe that you’re ready to move on from being a half to being a whole, keep in mind that you’re not going to get the match made in heaven if you don’t first have some clarity as to what it is you’re really looking for. Here are a few steps to get you moving in the right direction so that you can make the transition more successfully.
1. Think about what it is that you’re really looking for in a long term partner. Are you into sporting events, camping and fishing, cars, hanging out and being social, or private evenings together at museums and plays? Where are you most comfortable? Which type of guy can you easily be yourself with? What kind of guy will you be less likely to want to change down the road?
2. Have you dated guys in the past because you were influenced by family or friends? If so, the first thing to recognize is that you are more than capable of attracting, getting, and keeping the kind of guy you want. Besides, how can a girl be herself when she’s hanging out with someone who has interests and a personality that really don’t mesh with her own? Create your own expectations and your own roadmap to relationship success.
3. Make it a point to surround yourself with friends that have interests most closely mirroring those types of influences you’d like more of in your life. While social sites and online dating can have great success rates, you are also very likely to meet “that guy” if you allow yourself to be in situations where you increase your chances of meeting him. Even if you like watching loads of reality TV and want a snuggle partner while you do it, if you spend all your evenings and weekends in front of the tube, you’ll never find “that guy.”
4. Get out and meet people! Look for community events and interest groups that you can bring a friend to the first couple times for support. Even church can be a great place to meet someone new. The point is, if you don’t widen your social circle to make yourself visible and make (sometimes uncomfortable) efforts to put your energy out to the universe that you’re ready to be a double instead of a single, you’re selling yourself short.
Relationships should provide a high level of support, feelings of common ground and compatibility, and attraction. If you like guys that come home from work in a clean white shirt, the blue collar with dirty boots is likely to fall short with you in the long run. Alternatively, if you’re not the ultra feminine type, you may find yourself trying to be someone you’re not if your guy does. Knowing who you are and what you want and deserve in a relationship first are the keys to success you need. Don’t sell yourself short in being someone you’re not and/or dating guys that really don’t meet your standards now and likely won’t in the long run, either. Keep in mind that relationships are similar to construction: To have a strong structure that lasts, you need a good foundation to start.