Are You Going About Your Quest for a Relationship the Right Way?
Now that spring is upon us and everyone is coming out of hibernation, I thought I would spend a moment on relationships. One of the most common questions my clients ask me is “Are they the right one?” Now I can tell you if they are or aren’t, but wouldn’t you like to make sure they are before you commit to them?
I have made a list of the top five traits your lifetime mate should possess. Remember that good relationships don’t happen overnight because it takes time to find out about each other. When we start new relationships the first few months are full of passion, fun and excitement. Where most couples start having troubles is after that six month mark when things start slowing down and become more natural and routine. Having these prerequisites when meeting new partners will help you survive that six-month “Did I make a mistake?” mark.
Must Have #1: Qualities You Looks for
Before you even put yourself out there you should have a list of the top five, non-negotiable qualities you are looking for in a mate. Place these in order of importance on your list and take a good look at it. Let it resonate in your soul. This list should not consist of vain or material things. You are looking for a life partner, not shopping for a new shirt at the mall. One thing to remember after you have made your list is that not one person is perfect. If you are expecting perfection from someone else, they will be expecting perfection from you. None of us are perfect, and you shouldn’t want to be. Our little quirks and imperfections make us unique. This list will help keep you focused on what is important to you. If that person you are dating doesn’t have the qualities you listed, then they are not right for you.
Must Have #2: Respect and Communication
Relationships are partnerships and good communication is a must. When you talk with your mate does he/she really listen and engage themselves in the conversation? Is your partner willing to compromise and meet you in the middle when you are having disagreements, or does he/she discount your opinions insisting they know better? Your partner should come to you and ask your opinion on important decisions and really listen to your input before making that decision. They may not always do as you suggest, but they should still listen to what you have to say. Also important is being happy for you when good things come. Noticing that your mate cannot be happy in your happy moments or if they’re jealous when good things come is a real eye-opener when it comes to their respect for you.
Must Have #3: Sharing the Same Values
What values are important to you? It is very important that your partner have the same value system you do. If you find that you are compromising your values to make them happy, then this is not the mate for you. At the end of the day you have to be able to lay your head on your pillow and know the things you believe are right. Going into a relationship thinking you can change your partner’s way of thinking is trouble. Ask them what their views are on the things that mean the most to you. If you are a spiritual person, then your partner needs to be like-minded. If he/she is unable to express his values and morals without conviction then that would be a red flag.
Must Have #4: Acceptance
Being accepted, warts and all, is necessary for ease in the relationship. Can you get up in the morning and not have to rush to put on that makeup or shave your face? Does your partner accept your body size and mannerisms, or do they criticize you? Your partner should accept all of your flaws, quirks and body shape/size. They’re what makes you who you are! Any person who wants to critique you or make you feel guilty enough to change may not be the person who is right for you. There is always room for self-improvement but the desire to change should come from you and not because you are being bullied.
Must Have #5: Intuition
Psychics are not the only people that have intuition. Each one of us has the little voice inside that tells us if something just isn’t right or lets us know when to pursue something. You should never question your instincts. They are your guides, directing you towards what is best for you and your situation. Your intuition can tell you if you are with Mr./Ms. Right too!