Miles Apart, But Coming Together
The distance between just dating to we’re going steady is the same as the distance between here and the moon. When you’re just dating someone you’re getting to know them and they are getting to know you. When you’re steady with someone, it’s dating but on a deeper, more serious level.
Dates are just that, dates, and the days in between, when you’re not together, are a mystery to the other person unless they just happens to ask and you just happen to feel like telling. You have fun when you’re out with them, and when you’re not, you’re doing what you normally do, before you started seeing them, such as, going out with friends, shopping, blogging, and even planning a girls-only vacation. They’re a new friend and maybe a little more, but they don’t preoccupy your mind. They’re not the first person you have to tell when you’re going away for the weekend or for sure, when you’re going out on another date with someone else.
In the beginning when you’re just dating, life goes on as usual and you have time apart to see how much you find yourself thinking of them, or thinking about the next date. Assuming all is going well, your dates should increase in frequency over a period of time, long or short, and perhaps you get introduced to each other’s friends. This is the exciting part of meeting and dating someone, when they start to fill your thoughts more and more and you find yourself anxious to see them again. This is the step that leads you to the next important step – being exclusive, going steady.
“Relationships magnify the human experience.” – Quinn ext. 5484
Steady Going and Going Steady
When dates start moving from weekday once-in-a-whiles to steady Saturday/weekend get-togethers, you can pretty much assume that your friendship has moved from just dating to going steady. You’re compatible, you’re having fun, and now you’re in a relationship.
Honestly speaking, your life will change. That person becomes part of your personal equation. Of course, and hopefully, you keep your individual identities, but part of that identity is now linked with your significant other’s identity. You start to factor them in when making plans and decisions and the two of you are now a couple. It’s not a label; it’s just a fact.
Being honest about where you’d like a romance to go is not the same as being pushy about it. You can make your intentions clear without putting the pressure on or having your partner perceive your honesty as pressure. Obviously, if you feel uncomfortable bringing it up, or get shut down when you do, you’re probably not with your ideal mate. Cut your losses and find someone else to date. You will eventually find someone who wants the same things you want, but only if you keep looking.
Going from just dating to going steady can be a most exhilarating time. Enjoy it.
“Change is always to be welcomed rather than feared because it leads to the best relationship choices and the greatest freedom.” – Faith ext. 9608
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