Is a Player Just Playing You?
One of the problems with dating a player is that their actions can resemble that of an independent soulmate. Players will often claim their independence is important to them, and you will just have to love them for who they are. But being a player isn’t about independence. Unfortunately, there are too many players hiding behind the independent persona. Here are a few tips on how you can tell the difference between a player and an independent lover.
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Independent people are confident, but players are too confident. There is a subtle difference between confidence and overconfidence. But according to research, most people have the ability to tell the difference if they just listen to their heart.
Their Alone Time
Independent people spend a lot of time alone. Players try to make you think they’re alone. A truly independent person is proud of their independence, and will share the contents of their day in great detail if you ask. Most players are more interested in their privacy, and will coat most of their life with shadow and mystery.
Their Level of Care and Sensitivity
Independent people are caring and sensitive. Players are selfish and self-serving. Most independent people I know are very caring people. They may have a tendency to do things on their own, but they will be there for you when you need them to be. Players, on the other hand, may make a lot of promises, but they are really only interested in their own needs being met.
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Their Feelings About Your Independence
Independent people want their partner to be independent. Players want you to depend on them. Independent people would rather you enjoy the same independence they have, than place you under their thumb. With a player it is all about control, which is why it is in their best interest for you to be dependent on them.
Their Ability to Inspire You
Independent people are inspiring. Players will suck the life out of you.The busy lifestyle of an independent person will inspire you to become more courageous with your dreams. Players are more likely to stamp out your dreams with their critical, moody nature and narcissistic tendencies.
Independent people stand up for themselves. Players will just put you down. Independent people are strong at arguing for themselves. However, they will also maintain respect for their opponent. Players don’t exactly fight fair and won’t hesitate to take cheap shots to put you down in order to get the upper hand.
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Independent people know what they want, and that is pretty much the end of it. For a player, one minute you might be in their favor, but the next you won’t. This up and down roller-coaster style ride of a relationship is characteristic of most players.
Their Friendship Circle
Independent people may have only few good friends. Players have lots of “friends.” And independent person’s life is very busy, which means they will have little time to maintain close relationships with a lot of people. Players will always have ex-lovers who have become “friends,” because they don’t want to let most of them go completely.
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Careers and Hobbies
Independent people are passionate about their career and hobbies. Players use them as an excuse. Independent people like to keep busy, and there is no doubt about that. But the difference between them and players is that their passion will show as a glimmer in their eye as they tell you about them. A player’s discussion about their career and hobbies will seem like excuses for why they couldn’t be with you.
Making Time for You
Independent people are busy, but will make time for you. Players aren’t into making plans. One of the greatest strengths of an independent person is their ability to schedule their time to fit a lot of things into their day. Players are different in that they prefer to make impromptu plans, which is not as much a sign of being too busy, as it is a sign not being into you.
Independent people like to be in control, but players demand it. Independent people do seem to gravitate towards the driver’s seat, but they will share if you ask. Players”‘need” to be in control, as that is the only way they can maintain their game with several people at once.