Don’t Give Up on Your Relationship Yet!
Even though your relationship seems over “this time,” you just can’t move on. You wish you could, and can’t figure out why you can’t. The answer is simple: Now is not the time. Over the years I’ve helped a lot of clients with their relationships and there is a common thread that unites them all: Things are never what they seem.
I’ve seen situations where couples get divorced, live with other people, have terrible custody and assets battles and then get back together (as I predicted). “Unexpected” outcomes like the one I just mentioned arise and the caller cannot believe it will happen like I say it will. But it does happen, just as I predicted and the caller calls me back and says, “I will never doubt you again.”
“Love is a promise; love is souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.” – John Lennon
Over time hurt, anger, resentment and lots of other negative feelings pile up. One partner treats the other terribly or they treat each other terribly. There are horrible accusations, name-calling and restraining orders. They embarrass themselves and in general, act like crazy people all in the midst of a breakup or immediately after. But there is a purpose to what they are going through and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel in some way, shape or form. There is hope.
Here’s how to know if your relations has a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth, etc.) act:
1. They reach out to you for something that seems insignificant.
2. They call or text you by “accident.”
3. They ask mutual friends/acquaintances about you.
4. You still share things like pets, children or assets.
5. You have broken up and gotten back together before.
6. You feel like you have had a stronger connection with them than anyone you’ve been with before.
7. You note their weaknesses, but you are also very aware of your own.
8. You don’t see yourself with anyone else, even after a reasonable amount of time has passed since the breakup.
9. A lot of things pop up that remind you of them.
10. You keep running into each other unexpectedly.
Sometimes for people to get on the right relationship track they have to be shaken up and given time and space to gain awareness, clarity and to get themselves together. No matter what the other person is saying to you, if there are ways the two of you keep connecting somehow, hope remains. In many situations, even in the case of divorce, one individual will tell the other how much happier they are without them, how they don’t want anything to do with them, etc. But the truth of the matter is, if these things were really true, and the person didn’t want the other in his or her life, there would be no communication, and one person would make no acknowledgment of the other.
So, if you are still “stuck” on a relationship that seems to have ended and can’t move forward and don’t know why or how, really consider some of the items on the checklist and how and why they would apply to your situation to determine for yourself if there really is some hope for a reconnection—even if on the surface it seems an impossibility. Impossible, unexpected things happen to people every minute of every day. Why should your situation be any different?