Sex Q&A: Head Games

Raki’s Question:

There’s this guy who used to be my boss. We go out together and he kisses me when it’s time leave his car and say good night. He took me to his place and we were both naked but nothing happened because he said he doesn’t want me think he is using me “if something happens to us.” He said he doesn’t want me and I don’t know his intentions. Please help.

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Raki, and thank you for sharing your situation. I can see why you’re very taken with this man. There is an innate authority vibration to his persona that resonates with your subconscious desires. In other words, the fact that he is an alpha type male really does it for you. You’re not alone in this since many women find that sort of fellow very appealing. When a man is a commander and strategist, when he strives for dominance in all aspects of life, it’s often a girl’s wish to be subdued and mastered by him as well. She wants to be chased down and conquered. You’re a submissive by nature and you prefer the realm of swooning surrender. However, I also sense a hint of the naive, and that will not do in dealing with a man like this.

In plain and simple language: He’s a control freak. He doesn’t just want to dominate, he is determined to control. I sense that he’s frightened of women. He’s scared to death of female sexuality and the power of the female nature. And so he’s scared of you … Everything he does becomes a mind game, a function of showing dominance over your being. Now, done correctly and with an honest open mind, such things can be delightful rituals — tricky, dangerous games of flesh and consciousness.

But this man is so horrified of the pleasure he might experience, he won’t even tempt himself with a sampling your sumptuous wares. Now many a submissive vixen, crafty and clever, have waylaid such men with their charms, but I seriously question if you have the fortitude to tame this one. First you would have to accept the sort of man he is. Just about everything he does is a game. Understand this and then proceed if you wish.

If you decide to go on, then know you will not seduce him with direct force. You will have to match him in his game playing and usurp him with your own delicate wiles. Start by being completely submissive. Let him know that you are available sexually whenever, wherever, and however he chooses — no questions asked. Be a flirt…be girlish…but you must, you just must stop this emotional pining you do for him. Be present sexually but remove all evidence of emotional attachment. When he speaks of going back to his country, purr and ask if he’d like to have you before he leaves. All his ego gratification relies on your emotional fixation — so remove it. Date other men and make it well known you’re doing it.

If and when you find yourself naked with him again, and he starts with his little pranks, simply kneel before him, head lowered, and say “yes, sir,” to his every utterance. No drama, no pushing, no feeding into his fear. Just present yourself as a morsel for his pleasure without any complication and I have a feeling it will be too much for him. He’ll crumble. Be relentless in this dance — all softness and willingness. When he starts his nonsense, disappear for a time. Reappear later with an open invitation of sex. In time, he’ll take you to bed, and when he does, make a study of him. All things submissive, all things for his pleasure …You will find great satisfaction in doing so because it’s in your nature.

And he won’t be going anywhere. His threats are emotional blackmail. What he’s really saying is: pay attention to me, me, me, me. So go and seduce through submission and sensuality, but please know what you’re getting into. I doubt his emotional immaturity will ever be mended but you are free to find that out for yourself. Be well.

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