Have You Been Ghosted?

Ghosting: Breaking Up by Going Completely Silent

Ghosting is a raw move: it’s when you break up with somebody by completely blocking them out, not returning their calls, not Facebooking… nothing. Have you been a victim to this?

Deccan Chronicle reports:

Forget a text message or a vague e-mail, this has to be the worst, and most humiliating way, one can break up — by ghosting. Ghosting is the act of disappearing, leaving a relationship and a person without as much as a “by your leave,” much like a ghost that would vanish into thin air. And it’s fast becoming a trend.

Apart from leaving you with closure, the betrayal is hard to take, says Shalini Kondepudi, an assistant director. She says, “The concept is so inhuman. How can someone just walk out of someone’s life like that? It screams betrayal. If such a thing happens, it’s better to just let them go. Strong relationships are built on trust and such things never happen in them.”

While most believe that ghosting is mean and cruel, there are those who believe otherwise. “It saves time and a lot of trouble,” says Hriday Ranjan, an aspiring writer, adding, “If you thought that the person was good enough to be with, you wouldn’t walk out like that. But once you’ve decided that it won’t work, walking out seem way better than confronting the person.” “I’ve been on the receiving end, at first you feel terrible about yourself, but with time it feels better. It all settles in,” he says.

And ghosting is not just limited to the “jerks.” People who otherwise seem to be perfectly capable of being in normal relationships suddenly disappear. Dr. G. Prasad Rao, director of Psychopharmacology, Asha Hospitals, says, “All these arise due to complications of modern day relationships. Besides, if a relationship lacks emotional depth and commitment, such things are bound to happen.” He adds, “There are always signs of an impending doom, no relationship can end that abruptly. People live in a denial mode and are blinded by it, that’s why they can’t see it coming.”

Has this happened to you? Let us know in the comments!

6 thoughts on “Have You Been Ghosted?

  1. Vika K.

    1 of my best friends did it to me. It took much time and nerves to find that it was exactly ghosting! What sucks – that he never understood that when he doesn’t reply – you just can’t get if that was a DELIBERATE SILENCE or he just DIDN’T RECEIVE a msg!

  2. donna

    Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!!! Only a coward would end a relationship this way. Only someone with NO SELF RESPECT would do this!!!!!

  3. jess

    Sometimes in certain circumstances, this is the safest method to leave a nasty situation. Abusers, users, need no closure, no warning. Just erase the negativity from your life!

  4. sb

    When I broke up with my friend, I asked him to give me the space without contact for the next 3 months. But 3 days later he called me because he could not deal with it. So we met again and again and again and talked a lot during this time. It was not easy for me, because I felt guilty seeing him suffering and was very sad as well, but I once learned that the person who suffers more should set the pace – and a few years before I was in the other position and it found it very cruel and coward from the other person to vanish out of my life. I can not find any excuse for a behaviour like this, it doubles the pain. Separating from each other is a process and not an event – The one who leaves hurts as much as the left person (if deep emotions were involved) he or she is just a few steps ahead.

  5. marc from the uk

    I as a person believe that cutting off can be the best solution, it minimises conflict and helps both parties to move onward, especially if you both find conflict or potential conflict distressing, or tried calling it a day before. This requires disciplin, and a realisation that you are doing what is best for both parties.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *