Getting to YES!

How to Make Yourself Marriage Material

Advice columns often give women one set of rules, and men another. Women are told that they must make the object of their attraction chase them. That they should show interest in his accomplishments, but never “pressure him” for information regarding future plans. Women must remain engaged, but always let him take the lead. That they should be interested in what he has to say, but not share too much about themselves.

Men are given a different set of rules; they are told to make sure that they appear confident, to make light, to poke fun. They’re told not to be vulnerable, not to be nice, not to be polite. Men are told that nice guys only get “friend status.” The problem with this set up is just that—it’s a set up!

When either of you plays by “The Rules,” you’re undercutting the promise of a long-term relationship built on trust, love, and personal understanding. You’re creating a false relationship between two people who don’t even exist. I say, let’s toss the rulebooks and get real. You want to take your relationship to the next level? Stop being coy. Someone has to break the stalemate, and it may as well be you.

The Basics

• Don’t be the person you think your lover wants you to be – JUST BE YOU! After all, if you’re going to be with this person for the rest of your life, you’re going to get tired of pretending that her strange fascination with Monster Truck shows is shared. You’ll rue the day that you first pretended you liked his favorite movie.

• Be the person you want to be, in the relationship you want to be in. Don’t candy-coat yourself, but don’t wear ill-fitting armor either. And take your lover for who she or he is, flaws and genius alike.

• Talk about your own future aspirations. And make it clear that there’s room for your lover in those future plans.

Seduce a Proposal

• Have really great sex. Lots of it. Talk about how you could do this for a very, very long time. (Like, the rest of your life.)

• No matter how many months or years you and your lover have been together, make it a point to set aside sexy time. Groom yourself like it’s the first time.

• Learn some new tricks, and surprise your lover with a generous serving of steamy, sexy surprises.

• Pillow-talk your way into your future. No one is going to say no when they’ve just had a mind-blowing orgasm.

Bring it Home

The stuff that freaks most people out is actually the indirect attempts at insinuating a desired outcome. Yeah, just like that sentence, it’s complicated. But it can be so simple! Don’t beat around the bush.

• Don’t talk about your girlfriend’s-girlfriend’s upcoming wedding; straight up buy HIM a ring.

• Give her a gift that says “I’m yours.” Works pretty well.

• Above all, don’t be the holdout. Someone’s got to move it forward. It may as well be you.

Lasara Firefox Allen is an author, educator, activist, and coach. Lasara’s first book, the bestselling Sexy Witch (Llewellyn Worldwide), was published in 2005 under the name LaSara FireFox.

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6 thoughts on “Getting to YES!

  1. Rose Cocca

    im very confuse about this whole thing..i tried to talk to him and he cant…i ask him a relationship and he doest asked him personal question because i want to help..but he wont tell me..i tried so hard to reach him and everytime i tried he backs away…so i say he is good friend..whatelse can i say…it is me all the time he is most part of it…what else can i do…he want hes freedom so he can have problem…he does not belong to me he can be free to whatever he wants to do…he want to be free…i cant stop him….he is not chain to me…i still love but i find it isnt go anywere..but not of his choice..

  2. Rose Cocca

    again my dog lucky..whever he wants to go ….he does..whatever he wants..I DO NOT PRESURE him into anything…he makes his own mind….my dog came a long way..from being a street dog to being a greatest dog you will ever know…i can see such a big differce in him…

  3. Rose Cocca

    this the book i like to write..about my other dog..dont forget i had 3…dogs…nikki…princess..and missi…but they are i tryin to get another a another one and i think i found him…i sahll call him lucky..this dog is so wonderfull and the nicest dog you can own….he is lovable..and he will give you his pore and then some…im glad i found him..when i did …i love to write about dogs because my special animals…my lucky dog so smart..i let him make plans for me…i am sorry my dogs died..but sure i will live with my whole life..

  4. Rose Cocca

    i havent change im the same as i was dog hasnt learn any new tricks…how could she she has no one to teach her…my dog is always barking..even do i said nothing to him…that is way he was when i bought matter what bone you throw him he still the same…ik will like to mate him with a female dog..but he has to lern not to bark at people that he loves….i will like to give he away to dog he i said yes..anytime…im sure he doesnt want much.only to loved..and then i can give him away ..if only my dog missi could go live with her mate.. and i mean getting marry ha ha…he can anytime he wants to…my dog missi will not ask question ha ha,,,she looks happy with his new mate…she can stay forever…but my other dog princess is giving me a hard time…i meant him not my new dog..i mean my old dog…he always gave me a hard time and he still..what a job..he still wets in the house…i will like to go see MY VERY GOOD FRIEND and be with him the rest of my life….i like to get rid my old dog princess

  5. Psychic Reed ext.5105

    I truly agree about being yourself. However, there are always things we can learn that will help bring out our very BEST selves. If you find your relationship stuck in friend mode or weighed down by commitment phobia, your psychic can help by helping you to make sure that you are your most irresistible self!

    ext 5105


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