We’ve all been there. You have that killer night out that defies all the norms by serving up an amazing time of dizzying chemistry and connection. Whether it was a one-night or two-month romance… you didn’t want it to end.
The relationship took off like a sky rocket – your evenings went on endlessly. You couldn’t get enough of each other with dates, sexy phone calls, titillating texts and so much more. You were so darn happy that you started to wonder if too much of a good thing could ever be a bad thing.
You pondered if all that intensity was healthy and then you started to worry if you could be setting yourself up to crash and burn. When a relationship or one night adventure goes from zero to 100 with a mere smack of the lips, it’s time to ask yourself the buzzkill question: “Will the spark keep blazing?”
Was it worth it?
Sad as it is, all good things can come to an end. If they do, you could wind up with your romantic stride and heart being broken when a whirlwind love affair comes to an abrupt halt. With way too much time suddenly available on your calendar you’re left wondering – was it really worth the fun?
That can be a tough question to answer, but one that should be addressed if you hope to save your sanity in the future. First, accept facts. You chose to tango, yet you’re tempted to return over and over to unhealthy thoughts such as Why me? How could I be so naÔve? How could they have been enamored then leave me just as fast? These questions all serve no productive purpose.
While there might be shards of truth in these sentiments, beating yourself up about them isn’t going to help you move on. This type of behavior could even threaten to pull you into a dating slump – which is exactly what your broken heart doesn’t need.
Instead, focus your energy on the good parts of your time spent in a blissful bubble with this short-term squeeze. Maybe they were your entrée into some new restaurants or clubs that you wouldn’t have discovered on your own, or perhaps they introduced you to a new network of friends or work connections. Maybe they just got you out of your house long enough to for you to re-enter the mix of life. Whatever the case, chances are there were some memorable experiences that came out of your time together, so choose to focus on those positives, as opposed to shooting yourself and your ego in the foot with the negative.
Onward and upward
So you loved and lost, or maybe just lusted and got left. The reality is, you wouldn’t have carried on like you did for the night (or otherwise) if you weren’t having a bang-up good time. Just because someone other than yourself decided to end that very good time doesn’t mean that the fun has to stop on their account. Why not use it as an excuse to keep the good times rolling? Whether that means hitting the next hot thing you run into, setting out for a night on the town with your friends, or planning a weekly outing for yourself and others, the aim is on sustaining the “fun/vacation” mood you previously enjoyed.
Think about it. When you’ve partaken in one of these rocketing romances, regardless of the length, you probably felt better about yourself than you have in a while. You looked better, felt more beautiful, or even sounded sexier than ever, so why not parlay that feel-good sensation into the next day, week, or month of your life? You deserve to reap the benefits of your dalliances. You’ve probably learned a few new things about yourself – so why not leverage them?
Now that you’ve decided to keep the social train of your life chugging along, there are a few tips to keep in mind before you hop aboard. Depending on where you live, small town or large, there is a chance that you might run into your former fling or their friends. Prepare now so that if and when that happens you don’t derail yourself.
It’s simple. Nobody wants to be known as that crazy unbalanced person. This will only cause so-and-so to toast the fact that they skipped out on you just in time. Instead, vow to keep relations cordial and friendly – without being needy. Show them what they’re missing out on. Let them know by your actions that you can come and go with the flow of things just as well as – if not better than – them.
Regardless of why and how they ended things, maintaining an air of grace about yourself in the aftermath is the only way to go. You’re a lot better off having them remember you in that lustrous limelight you once danced in together – as opposed to making your mark as someone that didn’t know when to say when. Just remember, it is a lot better to leave someone reveling in the memories of your hot, confident self as opposed to seeing something not nearly as desirable.
Enjoy the experience for what it was in that moment – a time when you felt like you could conquer the world – and love – in the process. With a mindset like that you might surprise yourself by attracting exactly what you want in the very near future.
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